IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Your friend recently came to your birthday party and bought you an expensive present. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • thank your friend • explain how useful the present is • arrange to meet up with your friend sometime soon

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Start now →
Dear Aish, I hope you are doing great . I wanted to write you a letter to thank you once again for the Dyson
air wrap
Fix capitalization
Air Wrap
show examples
 that you got me for my
birthday
Punctuation problem
birthday,
show examples
 because it has totally changed my life. As you know, I work 10 hours
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
 from Monday to Friday
Linking Words
due
Punctuation problem
, due
show examples
 to which it is just so hard for me to wash my
hair
Use synonyms
 every other day and
than
Use the right word
then
show examples
 drying
them
Fix the agreement mistake
it
show examples
 takes super long , which makes me extra tired . But
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
you helped me big time by gifting me the air wrap
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 my whole
hair
Use synonyms
 care routine has changed
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I can actually wash my
hair
Use synonyms
 frequently . It only takes me 10 minutes to dry my long and heavy
hair
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 I am off to work .
Lastly
Linking Words
 , from a girl to
Correct article usage
a girl
show examples
girl
Punctuation problem
girl,
show examples
 we know how fresh
hair
Use synonyms
 makes our day ten times better than it already is. So, you will be the reason I actually get to be less stressed from now on and more excited to wake up every morning . I would love to meet up with you and thank you personally
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I
also
Linking Words
 made a tiramisu cake for you
which
Punctuation problem
, which
show examples
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 know is your favourite . Let me know when we can meet up. Your best friend, Anmoldeep

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task response: You answer all parts of the task, but add one clear time or day to meet your friend.
task response
Task response: Keep the tone warm but a little more natural. Some lines sound too strong, like 'changed my life'.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your ideas are clear, but some long sentences should be split into two shorter ones.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words in a simple way, like 'also', 'so', and 'because', and do not use too many commas.
task response
Task response: You thank your friend, explain why the gift is useful, and ask to meet soon.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The letter has a clear opening, body, and ending, so it is easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sincerely appreciate
  • generous gift
  • means a lot
  • truly grateful
  • thoughtfulness
  • perfect timing
  • came in handy
  • can't thank you enough
  • catch up soon
  • make plans to meet
What to do next:
Look at other essays: