In spite of many advances women have made in education and unemployment, they continue to be at a disadvantage when it comes to pay and promotion. What are the causes of this and what measures can be taken to solve?

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Introduction
Our society has come a long way in providing close to equal opportunity for
women
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in education and employment.
Although
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,
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this
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progress deserves credit,
women
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still struggle to get compensated on the same level as
men
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in their position. It is
also
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a fact that
,
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women
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have to work twice as hard to be considered for promotions.
This
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is a phenomenon
that is
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rooted in deep misogyny and affects the modern day
women
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regardless of their rank and their background.
This
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essay will elaborate on the causes and will look at the methods to combat
this
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issue.
Body · 1
It is no mystery that gender bias has existed in the workforce
due to
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women
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being considered less capable than
men
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in every industry.
This
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rooted misogyny has not only conditioned
women
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to ask for less
to begin
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with, but
also
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created unsafe spaces for them to get access to what they truly deserve. It is a widely known fact that in Hollywood, female leads do not get paid as much as the male lead. Some could argue that
this
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is because of the scope of their roles in the script, but even female-led script has higher paying male actors.
Body · 2
This
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contradiction isn't random and follows the pattern of
women
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being trusted less than
men
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to accomplish any job. To break
this
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pattern, we must address the concept of how society perceives
women
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. We must all recalibrate our core values to believe that
women
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possess the same capabilities as
men
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. It should
also
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be made imperative for people to be rewarded for their work based purely on their talent and skills, irrespective of their gender.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the only way for
deep rooted
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deep-rooted
misogyny to slowly fade away from society is to fundamentally bring equity into the world. Only when equity is
succesful
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successful
, equality can prevail.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You explain the cause well, but the fix part is too short and too general.
task response
Add one or two clear steps to solve the problem, such as equal pay law checks, open pay rules, or fair promotion reviews.
task response
Use more direct examples. The Hollywood example is clear, but one more example from normal work would make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences feel long or heavy, so shorter sentences can make your meaning clearer.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main point. This will help your argument feel more ordered.
task response
You clearly state the problem in the introduction and keep the same focus in the essay.
task response
You give a real example to support your view, which helps the reader understand your point.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow because the order of ideas is mostly clear.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion, and both fit the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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