IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

some people believe that work that is physical hard needs to be paid equal to the work that needs high qualification. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
It is often argued that physically demanding jobs should receive the same salaries as those that require high qualifications.
While
Linking Words
 physically demanding jobs require immense hard work, I believe that individuals who invest a long time and energy in learning significant skills should be paid more.
Body · 1
One key reason that there should be a difference between wages is that specialised workers spend many years obtaining professional
education
Use synonyms
 and training certificates. Doctors, engineers and lawyers are required to study a wide range of topics, experiments and knowledge before entering the real workforce.
Additionally
Linking Words
, these educational programmes are often expensive and time-consuming.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these occupations should be paid more because of their deep learning and
education
Use synonyms
.
Body · 2
Another reason is that highly skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
 often carry significant responsibilities that can directly affect society and human lives positively. Medical experts have to operate very accurately;
similarly
Linking Words
, engineers are responsible for designing safe infrastructure,
while
Linking Words
 legal
professionals
Use synonyms
 make important decisions that influence society.
In contrast
Linking Words
, construction and warehouse workers hold lower responsibilities , and they obtain fewer years of
education
Use synonyms
, which leads to the conclusion that they should not be paid similar wages as high-skilled people.
Body · 3
I agree that the salaries of skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
 and general workers should be different. Their pay should be
according to
Linking Words
 their
education
Use synonyms
, certificates and training experience. When the community see
this
Linking Words
 difference, they motivate themselves to learn meaningful subjects that can bring potential change in someone's life. The young generation, most importantly, receives great inspiration from these highly skilled
professionals
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 physically difficult jobs are important for society, I believe they should not be paid equally to highly qualified
professionals
Use synonyms
. It is difficult to study for many years and spend a large amount of money to become a significant individual in life. So, it becomes necessary that they earn good salaries.

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task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more real or clear example to support your view.
task response
Explain why hard physical work is less paid in a more balanced way.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words more carefully, and avoid repeating the same pattern.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are good, but a few parts feel too general. Add a little more detail.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence flow so each point moves smoothly to the next one.
task response
You answer the question clearly and keep the same opinion all through the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most main points are easy to follow and support your opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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