IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that in the future, environmental problems will mean that we are unable to live on this planet. In order to survive, the human species will need to find another planet that can support life. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Some
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people think that
,
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 human species
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to find a
planet
Use synonyms
 which enables
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 live
due to
Linking Words
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
 problems.
Although
Linking Words
pollution
Use synonyms
 can
caused to
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 climate
changing
Replace the word
change
, scientist did not
discover
Wrong verb form
discovered
show examples
 how
this
Linking Words
 issue damaged to
planet
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 there is no
spesific
Correct your spelling
specific
 piece of information to check
other planets condition
Correct word order
the condition of other planets
show examples
.
That is
Linking Words
 why
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement.
Body · 1
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is obvious that all the pollutions impact on the
planet
Use synonyms
 harshly. To give an example, the factories spread a
harmfull
Correct your spelling
harmful
 gas,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 damages
on
Change preposition
the
show examples
 atmosphere
surfaces
Verb problem
apply
show examples
directly.
Similarly
Linking Words
, private cars
also
Linking Words
 produce a gas that destroys
to
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
planet
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 same way.
As a result
Linking Words
, even though
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution
Use synonyms
 is the
most scary
Replace the word
scariest
 thing for
Use synonyms
planet
Correct article usage
the planet
show examples
, the
pollution
Use synonyms
 results can be reduce with some ways
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
show examples
 as
the
Verb problem
increasing the
show examples
useage
Correct your spelling
usage
 of public transportation
should be increased
Verb problem
apply
show examples
,
Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
filter should be used
Wrong verb form
using filters
show examples
 in factories.
Body · 2
From my perspective, some behaviour can result
heavy
Change preposition
in heavy
show examples
 for
planet
Use synonyms
, there
Punctuation problem
. There
show examples
 is anybody who
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 studying and working
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
 field
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 came with
proof
Correct article usage
a proof
show examples
 statement. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, I can not believe
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if the
planet
Use synonyms
 has
sufficient
Correct article usage
a sufficient
show examples
 source
that is
Linking Words
 not enough for people, they can not survive it. In conclusion, the statement should be researched
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 scientists and
shares
Wrong verb form
shared
show examples
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reliable sources that all peoples know.
Conclusion
To sum up
Linking Words
, the world will
has
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 less air quality than
what
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
it has now
becuse
Correct your spelling
because
 of the environmental
pollution
Use synonyms
 harshly damaged
to
Change preposition
the
show examples
 atmosphere
stage
Punctuation problem
, stage
show examples
 that first layer of the
planet
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the human species
need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
show examples
 to get fresh air to be alive
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
 if the sources
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not
able
Correct word choice
available
show examples
, anybody stays live.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say from the start if you agree or disagree, and keep this same view in all parts.
task response
Add one or two clear ideas in each body part, then explain each idea with a simple reason.
task response
Use a real and clear example to support your point, not only general ideas about pollution.
coherence and cohesion
Make your ideas easier to follow. Start each paragraph with one main point and keep all sentences about that point.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a simple way, like First, Also, For example, As a result, and In conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. Some sentences are hard to understand because the words do not go in a clear order.
task response
You give a clear opinion that you do not agree.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to use examples about factories and cars to support your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental degradation
  • sustainable development
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • biodiversity loss
  • climate change
  • greenhouse gases
  • deforestation
  • pollution
  • habitable planets
  • space colonization
  • terraforming
  • ethical dilemmas
  • resource allocation
  • technological advancements
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