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Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people now use social media as their primary source of news and information. Why has this happened? What problems can it cause for individuals and society?

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Introduction
Nemurs
Correct your spelling
Numerous
 people around the world
use
Use synonyms
 social
media
Use synonyms
 as their primary source , in our
era
Add a comma
era,
show examples
 you can see the riped for technology and how much it changs the daily life .
Body paragraph 1
On one hand ,
Use synonyms
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
 for a
lot of
Correct word choice
long
show examples
 time or for
much
Correct determiner usage
a long
show examples
 time
have meny resons , first
Correct word order
has many reasons. First,
show examples
it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 life more esier , morover it
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
 you
conected
Correct your spelling
connected
 with
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
 24 hour ,
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 you can find a lot for resurch for any thing , it same big libery but in
this
Linking Words
 libery you can find
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
 by
press
Wrong verb form
pressing
show examples
 a button
Body paragraph 2
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
apps
it
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 help you to do work
in
Change preposition
, for
show examples
 example powerpoint , or enjoy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your time and
use
Use synonyms
Youtyop
Correct your spelling
YouTube
Body paragraph 3
to watch
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 movie ,
Body paragraph 4
On
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 hand that has both
negtive
Correct your spelling
negative
 and positive aspect ,
Linking Words
such as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
social
media
Use synonyms
 has
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 effect
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 societies it shaped on collective responsibility for people
in example
Punctuation problem
. Additionally,
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
say do
Correct subject-verb agreement
says
show examples
 not
help
Verb problem
to help
show examples
 people
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
that wrong additional , it intdreuse
Correct word order
that's wrong. It also interferes with
show examples
individual freedom
by
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 wrong way
and examples
Punctuation problem
. On the other hand
show examples
, otherwhise it
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 advantages
,not
Punctuation problem
. Not
show examples
 all infelonser in social
media
Use synonyms
gave
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 wrong and bad thing some of them can help you
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your
study
Check wording
studies,
show examples
such
Linking Words
 as
gave
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 you
hacs
Correct your spelling
hacks
 in
mutter
Check wording
matters
show examples
 for
muath
Fix capitalization
Muath
show examples
 or
gave
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
 you
sirvis
Correct your spelling
services
 you need .
Body paragraph 5
In the final , the impact
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 social
media
Use synonyms
is depend
Wrong verb form
depends
show examples
 on your
use
Use synonyms
 and what you need , but remember
Conclusion
do not
geve
Correct your spelling
give
 it any
chanse
Correct your spelling
chance
 to
effect on
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 your
mantel
Correct your spelling
mantle
.

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task response
Answer both parts more clearly: say why people use social media for news, and then say what problems it causes.
coherence cohesion
Use clear main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph for reasons, one paragraph for problems.
task response
Add simple and real examples to support each main point.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with easy words like first, also, however, and finally.
coherence cohesion
Make each sentence easy to follow. Some ideas now are hard to understand.
task response
Develop your points more. Do not only name an idea; explain it.
task response
You wrote about both good and bad sides of social media.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has an opening and an ending.
task response
You tried to give examples like YouTube and study help.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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