IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

People should be encourage to buy domestic products, not foreign products. Other people think we should be able to buy what we prefer. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

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Introduction
There is a considerable amount of debate about whether
people
Use synonyms
 should prefer domestic
products
Use synonyms
 over foreign
products
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 there are valid points for both views, I believe personal preferences are prior.
Body · 1
People
Use synonyms
 who support the local market claim that choosing domestic
products
Use synonyms
 helps society and supports the regional economy. To say that, most of the farmers around the world depend on sales in neighbourhood bazaars.
That is
Linking Words
 why
people
Use synonyms
 should choose to buy from them.
Body · 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 maintain that we should choose the things we buy based on our preferences rather than the items’ origin. One of the main reasons for
that is
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 that, in each part of the world, there are different crops and harvests. So, prices and availability of a product change.
For example
Linking Words
, some tropical fruits may be expensive in the US,
while
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 arctic fish are cheap, and it is the exact opposite in an African country.
That is
Linking Words
 why I strongly support
this
Linking Words
 view of the argument about local and foreign product consumption.
Conclusion
To conclude
Linking Words
, the idea of supporting local
products
Use synonyms
 has its own merits.
However
Linking Words
, I believe that personal preferences and accessibility to goods for every person are more important.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. The side about buying local is too short.
task response
Give one clear reason and one clear example for each side.
task response
Your opinion is clear, but explain it a bit more in the body, not only at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way. Some parts feel repeated with 'That is why'.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea grow step by step. Some points stop too fast.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start and end, but the middle paragraphs need more balance.
task response
You discuss both sides and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and easy to follow.
task response
The example about fruit and fish helps support your view.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • durability
  • sustainability
  • longevity
  • affordability
  • consumerism
  • waste
  • environmental impact
  • value for money
  • customer satisfaction
  • brand loyalty
  • consumption
  • economic growth
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