IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2

Some people think that fathers should have time off from work after the birth of a baby. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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I think fatherhood should have more attention from
work
Use synonyms
 policies because it can have many nuances. Motherhood, on the other
side
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hand
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, is already recognised as a justification for having time off from
work
Use synonyms
, which makes pretty sense since mothers are the parents closest to the baby when it is just born. Having days off is
definetely
Correct your spelling
definitely
 something every parent must have after the birth of their children, but I don't think
for
Correct word choice
that for
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 fathers should be a specific and defined period of time
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
 it happens when motherhood.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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 fathers should have the right to arrange an agreement with their superiors when their child is a
new born
Correct your spelling
newborn
. The
lenght
Correct your spelling
length
 of the time off from
work
Use synonyms
 can vary
according to
Linking Words
 the priorities for that family
in
Change preposition
at
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 that moment,
for example
Linking Words
, a family
which have
Correct subject-verb agreement
that has
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 planned the birth of their child for years probably will have more savings and can allow themselves to have both parents off from
work
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending to sum up your view.
task response
Give one or two more clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'in conclusion' to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence form. Some parts are hard to follow because the grammar is not clear.
task response
You stay on the topic and talk about fathers and time off work after birth.
task response
You give a balanced idea and show that family needs can be different.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start and one main body part.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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