Children should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

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Introduction

It is often that

adobut

Correct your spelling

about

children

Use synonyms

need

get

Verb problem

to get

show examples

job

Correct article usage

a job

show examples

part

Correct your spelling

part-time

time

Use synonyms

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

free

Correct determiner usage

their free

show examples

time

Use synonyms

. There are many benefits and

unbenefit

Check wording

disadvantages

show examples

for

this

Linking Words

topic to discuss.

Body paragraph 1

The advantage for

children

Use synonyms

working on

free

Correct determiner usage

their free

show examples

time

Use synonyms

is imporove child personality and responsibility.

For instance

Linking Words

, they will learn

making decision

Wrong verb form

to make decisions

show examples

time

Use synonyms

management

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

spend money. Fourthmore, student peronality easy to

bulit

Correct your spelling

build

now in

correct

Correct article usage

the correct

show examples

way.

Linking Words

also

Fix capitalization

Also

show examples

, the

technologhy

Correct your spelling

technology

in cerrent day

effect

Use the right word

affects

show examples

them, as

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

result

Add a comma

result,

show examples

they are lassy body and brain.

Body paragraph 2

However

Linking Words

, there are several disadvantage for working and should totally

foucing

Correct your spelling

focus

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

. For

examples

Check wording

example

show examples

, the

childern

Correct your spelling

children

get

boaring

Wrong verb form

bored

show examples

from studing

then

Linking Words

hate the

all

Correct word choice

whole

show examples

school. Which

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

drop

Correct article usage

a drop

show examples

Use synonyms

Change preposition

in children

show examples

children

Check wording

children's

show examples

degree and

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

absent.

Conclusion

In conclusion, through the important balance between

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

time

Use synonyms

and free

time

Use synonyms

even

Punctuation problem

, even

show examples

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

or gaming. As the parent can dicide depand childern and need to choose appropraite job for

Use synonyms

children

Check wording

children's

show examples

age.

omanny82

May 30, 2026

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task response

Answer both sides more clearly. Say what is good and what is bad about part-time work for children.

task response

Add one clear main idea in each body part, then explain it with a simple reason or example.

task response

Use more clear examples. For example, say what job a child can do and how it helps or hurts study.

coherence and cohesion

Make your order easier to follow: intro, good points, bad points, then conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, for example, and in conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Write full clear sentences. Some sentences are hard to understand, so the reader may lose your meaning.

task response

You answered the topic and talked about both good and bad sides.

task response

You gave some useful ideas, like responsibility, time use, and the risk of less study.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You used some link words such as for instance, however, and in conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
32
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

148 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

part-time job
focus on
advantages
disadvantages
responsibility
work ethic
time management skills
social skills
communication skills
financial independence
money management
practical knowledge
real-world experience
academic performance
stress
fatigue
rest
relaxation
extracurricular activities
unsafe
inappropriate
social development
emotional development

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Children should take part time jobs in their free time or they should totally focus on their studies. What are the advantages and disadvantages to children of doing so?

Your neighbour has animals and they cause noise. Write a letter - Describe the situation - Suggestion to solve the problem - Tell him what will you do if he will not solve the problem

Many people think that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required.Discuss both view.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?