IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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The success of individuals in sports can be attributed to physical and mental
strength
Use synonyms
, amongst other factors. Some people
are
Verb problem
apply
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consider physical
strength
Use synonyms
 to matter more than mental
strength
Use synonyms
 and
vice-versa
Punctuation problem
vice versa
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.
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe physical
sttrength
Correct your spelling
strength
 to be important
with
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, with
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 mental agility being just as important as the former. Physicality plays a major role in sports
and
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, and
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 the prevalence of agile, strong athletes is a testament to it. Against weaker
counterparts
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counterparts,
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 the presence of greater
strength
Use synonyms
 tends to be enough with respect to the sport being played.
For instance
Linking Words
, running alongside a player in football trying to reach a ball ahead of you is purely decided by pace. In most outcomes, the player with greater speed is likely to win the ball. Apt training and practice
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 crucial to developing physicality and gaining an edge over other competitors. Having a good understanding of the functions and workings of a sport
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
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 when matched with opponents of a greater physical ability than you. Knowing when and how to
imply
Verb problem
employ
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 tactics to aptly outplay your rivals is of dire need in sports.
For example
Linking Words
, players in football often implement "skill moves" when facing situations where they can be easily overpowered by opposing players. A small adjustment in the form of a side step or an extra touch proves to be
outcome deciding
Correct your spelling
outcome-deciding
 when simple and
straight forward
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straightforward
 plays seem far
to
Correct word choice
too difficult to
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 reach or convert into goals. Beating opponents and having options
instead
Linking Words
 of using raw
strength
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 to force an outcome is a key tool to have in your arsenal. In conclusion, both mental and physical strengths have advantages and use cases
with
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, with
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 neither being
lesser in importance
Replace the word
less important
. Development and implementation of
aforementioned
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the aforementioned
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 aspects is what sets a good athlete
from
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apart from
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 a great athlete.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about both, but your own view is not fully clear all through the essay.
task response
Add a clearer opinion in the introduction and support it again in the body. This will make your main answer stronger.
task response
Use more specific examples. Your football examples help, but they can be more exact and better explained.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea easier to follow. Some lines are hard to read because the sentence form is not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way, such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', and 'therefore'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one clear topic in each body paragraph and explain it step by step.
task response
You answer both views and give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has an introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You use examples from football to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your main points are relevant to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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