IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart and table below give information about tourists at a particular holiday resort in Australia.

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The
informations
Check wording
information
show examples
 about how many and the reason why
tourists
Use synonyms
 visits at a specific resort present by graph and
table
Correct article usage
a table
show examples
, which
divide
Wrong verb form
is divided
show examples
 into four
regions
Use synonyms
, namely Asia, Europe,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
, and other
regions
Use synonyms
. As the information shown,
overall
Linking Words
, the
Asian
Use synonyms
Tourists
Use synonyms
 give the
most
Correct word choice
largest
show examples
proportion
Punctuation problem
proportion,
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 followed by Europe,
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 and other
regions
Use synonyms
 leaving behind. In
opposite
Check wording
contrast
show examples
,
Asian
Use synonyms
 visitors tend to spend their time only 7 days, the shortest time
Linking Words
Punctuation problem
, instead
show examples
instead of the
Change preposition
compared to
show examples
 other
regions
Use synonyms
. In the first part,
Asian
Use synonyms
 people who visit Australia notably place at the first position with 37%, 2% more than
Europe
Replace the word
European
 visitors.
However
Linking Words
, the US and Other
regions
Use synonyms
 slightly record below than 20%, with 18% and 10% proportions, respectively.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Asian
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tourists periods
Check wording
tourists' period
show examples
 of staying is the shortest time
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only 7 days, but
instead
Linking Words
 they use highly precious accommodation at
5-star
Correct article usage
a 5-star
show examples
 hotel compared to other
regions
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the lowest visitors
of region
Change preposition
apply
show examples
, which Other region spend
their holiday
Check wording
apply
show examples
just 3 days more than
Asian
Use synonyms
 people with Camping or Caravan accommodation and choose surfing as their main activity, similar
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
 European
Tourists
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "instead".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words tourists, regions, asian with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "informations" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Tourist influx
  • Peak season
  • Demographic information
  • Fluctuations
  • Duration of stay
  • Preferred accommodations
  • Analyze
  • Trends
  • Patterns
  • Compare and contrast
  • Speculate
  • Marketing campaigns
  • Management
  • Data
  • Notable
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