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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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University life cultivates professional and advanced academic paths, leading graduates to their specific realm of the job market. There are different opinions and contemplations on
this
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 topic;
in other words
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, there is no direct evidence or approval to judge which side is better.
This
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 essay will discuss both views and weigh the advantages before viewing my opinion. On the
one
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 hand, some students argue that concentrating on
one
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 field of study can foster a knowledge foundation and develop chosen subjects, which is needed to dedicate themselves all the time to accomplish academic achievements. To illustrate, the student specializing in programming language and its constructs consists of several fundamental elements, and he believes in devoting himself to mastering a specialized path.
Moreover
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, in the job market, the employer often seeks expertise and skills in outstanding performance.
Therefore
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, it is essential to have an advanced specialized realm of the focused
subject
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.
On the other hand
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, the other group debates the opposite. Those who explore diverse subjects compete with
one
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 who only has a chosen field.
One
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 of the studies indicates that if people seek out interdisciplinary approaches or develop different interests, they may engage more in critical thinking, problem-solving, and recognized skills.
For instance
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, the student's expertise in literature, but with the combination of philosophy and enriching the knowledge background, may develop philosophic literature and delve into different dimensions of articles.
Hence
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,
subject
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 diversification expands the horizons and restructures students' creativity and imagination. In conclusion, it is evident that both views have their pros and preferences, either focused on
one
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subject
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 or an interdisciplinary approach.
Consequently
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, in my opinion, schools may reinforce the major of the chosen
subject
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 but
also
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 allow students to select optional subjects, for those who seek out the
well-round
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well-rounded
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 development.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear and logical flow to the essay, with ideas and paragraphs seamlessly interconnected for enhanced readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion of the essay are present and provide a clear framework for the discussion, yet make sure they also encapsulate all of the main ideas compellingly.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported but strive for deeper and more varied support, including evidence or more substantive examples to illustrate and strengthen the argument.
task achievement
The response to the task is acceptable yet ensure that the response more fully addresses all parts of the task, showing thorough understanding and engagement with the topic.
task achievement
The ideas proposed are clear but should be expanded for comprehensiveness, avoiding vague statements for more precise and explicit exposition of thoughts.
task achievement
Examples cited are relevant but further specificity and elaboration will enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of the arguments presented.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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