Some people think that children should be given homework everyday. Others however believe that children should not be given homework everyday. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Nowadays, there are different opinions about
people believe that
Correct word choice
whether
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children
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should be given
homework
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everyday
Rephrase
every day
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. Others
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Punctuation problem
, however
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however
Punctuation problem
however,
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believe that
children
Use synonyms
should not be given
homework
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everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
.
This
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essay will discuss both sides and give my opinion. On the one hand, many people believe that
children
Use synonyms
should be given
homework
Use synonyms
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
.
First,
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they will have responsibility.
Homework
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everyday will learn them how to
strong
Verb problem
be strong
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and responsible for themselves.
Second,
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they will have some activity. It helps
children
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to do
activity
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activities
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at home and be active all day.
Finally
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,
homework
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improves skills. Many
children
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discover and develop their skills
by
Change preposition
through
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homework
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.
On the other hand
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, many people believe that
children
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should not be given
homework
Use synonyms
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
.
First,
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children
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should have rest
time
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. Many
children
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feel tired after school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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they should have rest
time
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.
Second,
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time
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for playing and
practice
Wrong verb form
practising
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hobbies . They already spend hours learning at school
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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they should spend
time
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for
Verb problem
doing
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something they like at home.
Finally
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,
homework
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can cause stress. Many
children
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get upset because of
homework
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and feel stressed.
Finally
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,
although
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homework
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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some positive sides,
l
Correct your spelling
I
believe that
children
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should not
given
Verb problem
be given
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homework
Use synonyms
everyday
Rephrase
every day
show examples
. Teachers can give them
homework
Use synonyms
once every two weeks.

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task response
Write a clearer answer to both sides and your own view. Your view is there, but it is very short.
task response
Add simple examples to support your main ideas. This will make your points stronger.
task response
Make each idea more clear. Some lines are hard to understand, like 'have some activity' and 'learn them how to strong'.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way, such as 'For example', 'Also', and 'As a result'.
coherence and cohesion
Keep the same grammar pattern in your points. This will make the essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main point with one more sentence so the reader can see your reason clearly.
task response
You answered both sides of the topic and gave your opinion at the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used simple paragraphing, and this helps the reader follow your ideas.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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