Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to cosume less sugar. do you agree or disagree?

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People opine that manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of

sugar

Use synonyms

, resulting in health issues. I agree with the statement that sugary items should be made more expensive to encourage the population to consume less

sugar

Use synonyms

. The reasons are discussed below.

Firstly

Linking Words

, if sugary items are priced higher, the public will be discouraged from purchasing them.

Therefore

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, people will have to resort to natural forms of

sugar

Use synonyms

like fruits

such

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

sweet strawberries, mangoes, bananas and peaches.

For example

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, people who often buy

sugar

Use synonyms

will change to artificial sweeteners or jaggery.

Secondly

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, having fewer sweets leads to lower health problems.

For instance

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, the rate of diabetic patients is rising ;alongside, the count of individuals with blood pressure, cholesterol and cardiovascular problems is increasing.

Furthermore

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this

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puts more pressure on the healthcare system , with services and the quality of life in an economy.

Lastly

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, making the items expensive will increase the government's revenue. Some individuals are addicted to sugary products; no matter how expensive these are, they continue to consume

Correct pronoun usage

them.

show examples

Thus

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, despite the rise in the price, the

overall

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income of the firms and the state is least likely to be negatively affected , as these have inelastic demand. In conclusion, I believe that the state should make sugary products more expensive because it assists in living a better quality of life and promotes making healthier decisions on what to consume. Despite knowing the consequences of high levels of sugary intake, the general population continues to increase their consumption.

This

Linking Words

makes it necessary for the authority to intervene to correct

this

Linking Words

market failure.

munvinder1265

Jun 2, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Make your main idea in each body part more clear at the start.

coherence cohesion

Use link words in a more natural way. Some are not placed well.

task achievement

Add one more clear example to show why higher price can cut sugar use.

task achievement

Explain your second point more fully so the reader can see the cause and result better.

task achievement

Keep your opinion strong in all parts of the essay, not only in the start and end.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

task achievement

You answer the question and give a clear view.

task achievement

Most main points are linked to the topic of sugar and health.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

266 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sugar tax
health problems
high levels of sugar
eat less sugar
encourage people
buy less
public health
tooth decay
weight gain
serious illness
low-income families
daily habit
food labels
healthy choice
government policy
raise the price
change behavior
basic needs
long-term health
balanced diet

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Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to cosume less sugar. do you agree or disagree?

Some companies use a lot of packaging when selling their products. Why is this? Is it a good thing?

In many countries, primary and secondary schools close for two months or more in the summer holidays. What is the value of long school holidays? What are the arguments in favour of shorter school holidays?

Do you think it is better for governments to spend money developing public transportation or developing new kinds of cars? Why or why not? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people.