Some people think that it is better for kids to learn with online educational materials, while others believe kids should learn with hard copy/printed educational materials. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Some people say that it is useful if
children
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are learned by online educational materials,
while
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,
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apply
show examples
others think that it is better for them to learn with hard and paper materials. I will discuss both views. But, for me, online material can ensure that a child is not absent. With
this
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Rephrase
apply
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also
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, he can follow his
class mates
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classmates
by what
these
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this
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material
provide
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provides
show examples
. On the one hand, online educational systems can guarantee that
children
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are not absent under any circumstances from following their
school
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class
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classes
show examples
. Nowadays,
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school
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the school
show examples
system
provide
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provides
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smart
devices
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for students. These
devices
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connect to the
school
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website,
when
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where
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,
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apply
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pupils can deliever subjects
books
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and
know
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learn
show examples
about their subjects.
This
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can happen anytime, when
,
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apply
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there is archieve for all
this
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,
also
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they
the
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have the
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school
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sessions. Here,
If
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if
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students had accidents, they would check the sessions via their smart
devices
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in their
Change preposition
from
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home.
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this
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This
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can be a barrier
,
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apply
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before
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to
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this
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development. When
,
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apply
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the child may not have
a
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apply
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access
with
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to
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school
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classes to study from home with his
books
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. And, he can fail
year
Correct article usage
a year
show examples
, because
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this
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of this
show examples
. Now, he has all
this
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in his tablet
subjects
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: subjects
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books
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, books
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and
school
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classes. So, for any student,
this
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can ease the education during the absence.
On the other hand
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, modern
children
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may spend a lot of
time
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online on their phones
,
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apply
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in
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during
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their holidays
,
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apply
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or
their
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apply
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vacations.
scientifically
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Scientifically
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,
this
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has
a harm concequences on human's
Correct word order
harmful consequences on human
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eyes.
While
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,
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apply
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they spend
others
Correct word choice
other
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times studying.
This
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can be saved by educational
insitatution
Correct your spelling
institutions
to utilise their other times
further
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from screens. By paper
books
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, they provide for them during
school
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time
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. Pupils take them into their homes to study and do their homework in these
books
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. During
this
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, the
time
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they
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, they
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spend it
reads
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reading
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and
writes
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writing
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in solid
books
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,
accroading
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according
to
eyes'
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eye
show examples
doctors
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doctors,
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says that
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apply
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it helps to increase their concentration abilities. But, the real matter is,
this
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can guarantee that they spend
time
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far from any
eyes
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apply
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harmful
devices
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, and have
time
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to benefit themselves. In my opinion, with all
what
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that
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online
schools
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school
show examples
systems provide
from
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in
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services
associate
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associated
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with tablets, it can ensure that all
children
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. Under any
cicumstances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
of absence can attend and see
school
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classes and
books
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online.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk more about online study than paper study.
task response
Give your opinion in a clear way in the intro and again in the end.
task response
Use main ideas with clear support. Some points are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clear at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simple way. Do not use too many commas and repeated words like 'when' and 'this'.
coherence and cohesion
Check paragraph flow. Some sentences do not connect well to the next one.
task response
You discuss both online and paper materials.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to give examples about school devices, home study, and eye health.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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