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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The internet is amazing and has changed the way people live. Give the advantages and disadvantages of the internet

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The world is very different today
and
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, and
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that is
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 because of technology. The
internet
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 has drastically changed the world and how people live. Many people use it constantly.
This
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 essay will examine both the advantages and disadvantages of the
internet
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.
Use synonyms
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 has multi posetive impact on our lifestyle
as well as
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 our
own
Correct word choice
apply
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daily routine. Communication comes at the top of
list
Correct article usage
the list
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 of those
penefits
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benefits
. People uses
internet
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nowasays
Correct your spelling
nowadays
 to
sommunication
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communicate
 on the
stop
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spot
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 without any
hesitations
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hesitation
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,
for example
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, a mother can get
intouch
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in touch
 with her son who is studying overseas without any requestioments expect using her mobile device
which
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, which
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 is handy already. In
addtion
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addition
. Contacting a company to ask for home
applaince
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appliance
 repair
became
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has
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also
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 easy function because of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
. A user or a customer in
this
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 matter
;
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apply
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 can call the company to install or fix devices been purhcased is hassel-free job
unlike
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, unlike
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 old days
busniess
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business
 treatments.
Last
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 but not least, Education is another advantage which is booming in very high speed. Learning skills by using internte produced getes upgraded education methods.
For example
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,
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 is a method which every
leacturers
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lecturer
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 uses to receive
homeworks
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homework
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 from students
,
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;
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furthermore
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,
using
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apply
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it
to
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is used to
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transfare
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transfer
 data to computers via mobile devices directly to the
lap
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laptop
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 in order to generate certain results. As a
sord
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sword
 with
twi
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two
 edges, there is another edge of
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 which
is
Verb problem
has
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 negative side effects. The most common says "Time is money
"
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",
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so
internte
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internet
 is not an
exceptional
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exception
 here.
Time consuming
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Time-consuming
 is a massive disadvantage of the
internet
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,
thus
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 addiction ilness apears on current generation.
For example
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, online gaming
the consume
Correct subject-verb agreement
consumes
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 most of teenagers' time lead to
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
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their
Change preposition
on their
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 studying performance. Cost is
also
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 another reason added to the side
effect
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effects
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. Higher
bandwiedth
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bandwidth
internet
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 speed is
overkilling
Wrong verb form
overkill
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 for mid-range income families. For
instence
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instance
, 10Gbs cost $1700 in our country,
while
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average
Correct article usage
the average
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 mid-range
families'
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family's
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 income is from $2500 to $3000 monthly. Not to forget here, risking some
perfonal
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personal
 information
while
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 connected
users
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apply
show examples
to the global might put them in a position to be attacked. Security is the issue that nobody
still
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has
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 solved
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. In conclusion, it is clear to see that the
internet
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 is a modern invention that possesses multiple advantages.
However
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, it must be mentioned that there are some serious problems and disadvantages that must be addressed.

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task response
Task response: You answer both sides, so this is good. But some ideas are not fully clear. Make each main idea simple and explain it with one clear reason.
task response
Task response: Use more direct examples. Some examples are good, but a few are hard to understand because of word and grammar problems.
task response
Task response: Your position is mostly clear, but you can make it stronger by adding one short sentence in the conclusion about whether the good side is stronger or the bad side is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear 4-paragraph shape, and this helps the reader. Keep this plan.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Put one main idea in one part of a body paragraph. Now, some parts move too fast from one point to another.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use linking words carefully. Words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'however' are enough. Do not use too many, and make sure each one fits.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some sentences are hard to follow because the order of words is not clear. Try shorter sentences to make the line of ideas easy to see.
task response
Task response: You talk about both advantages and disadvantages, so you answer the full question.
task response
Task response: You give real-life examples, like family contact, study, gaming, and cost. This helps your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You have an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This is a good essay form.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: The conclusion matches the question and ends the essay in a clear way.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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