IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some students prefer to take a gap year between high school and university, to work or to travel. Do the advantage of this outweigh the disadvantage?

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Some
students
Use synonyms
 choose
to
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
not
enter
Verb problem
to enter
show examples
 the
university
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 immediately after
finish
Wrong verb form
finishing
show examples
 their high
school
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 degree, they take a
year
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 before
apply
Wrong verb form
applying
show examples
 to their colleges for
labor
Change the spelling
labour
show examples
 or travelling.
Linking Words
this
Fix capitalization
This
show examples
 can alienate a student from his high
school
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friends
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, at the same
time
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, his new
university
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 mates from the same age.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
year
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 can benefit some
people
Use synonyms
 who apply to forign
university
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, when they can have a chance to learn
carefelly
Correct your spelling
carefully
 their
language
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. But
i
Fix capitalization
I
show examples
 think to be able to speak the
language
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 of the
college
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is
beneficer
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 to the student more than anything.
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
people
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 prefer to apply to
universities
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out of
Change preposition
outside
show examples
 their countries to be able to know different cultures.
some
Fix capitalization
Some
show examples
 of these
universities
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 can ask them for
language
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 requirements, and some
not
Verb problem
do not
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. In
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
 case,
students
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 can go without sending any
docouments
Correct your spelling
documents
 to show their
language
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 abilities. In
this
Linking Words
 case, they may attend many
universitiy
Correct your spelling
university
sessions
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.
While
Linking Words
 they just try to understand the
language
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.
Whereas
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 their mates in the program perform well and understand all the
conent
Correct your spelling
content
 of the
sessions
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. So, in
this
Linking Words
 situation,
students
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 lose a
lot
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 of
time
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they
Correct word choice
because they
show examples
 do not understand
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
time
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 can go
far
Change preposition
on
show examples
 for months. Unlike
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 if they took
rest
Correct article usage
a rest
show examples
 for a
year
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, they might learn a
lot
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 about the
language
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 and more.
This
Linking Words
year
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,
students
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 can travel to the city of the
university
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 they need. These
universities
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 might provide
language
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preparing
Replace the word
preparation
 courses for international
students
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.
Which they
Correct pronoun usage
They
show examples
 can make them study the
language
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Linking Words
also
Correct word choice
, and also
show examples
 improve a
lot
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with
Change preposition
by
show examples
 talking to native
people
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 from the country. Which
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
gurantee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 that in the next
year
Use synonyms
 they understand the
language
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 of the city. And they can perform well in
ther
Correct your spelling
their
sessions
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 for understanding the
language
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 of
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
 first.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some
unversities
Correct your spelling
universities
 require high fees to apply for them. Whilst
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 some poor and
middle class
Correct your spelling
middle-class
people
Use synonyms
 need their children to enter these
universities
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. Some children may observe
this
Linking Words
 situation and ask for
gap
Correct article usage
a gap
show examples
year
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. When
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can help their parents with the fees. They have a
year
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 to utilise it for
working
Replace the word
work
. And they can learn to depend
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 themselves to have money.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they see photos
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 their
friends
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 having fun. But, with
Linking Words
this
Add a comma
this,
show examples
 they can learn some values
such
Linking Words
 as how to
scarifise
Correct your spelling
sacrifice
time
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other important
Use synonyms
time
Check wording
things
show examples
 for their future. When
, if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
 they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 not
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
, they might not be able to enter the
university
Use synonyms
. Even though
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 they can struggle
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
in the
Change preposition
at
show examples
 first
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time,
Check wording
apply
show examples
with friendships
after
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. When they enter the
college
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 lower
year
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 than their original
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
year
show examples
. At the same
time
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, others enter with their high
school
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friends
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. And, all of them might have groups and know each
others
Fix the agreement mistake
other
show examples
.
While
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 who enter later than their original
year
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. Their high
school
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friends
Use synonyms
 are higher than them and have classes
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 different
hours
Check wording
times
show examples
. So, until those
people
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 are
be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
able to make
friend
Check wording
friends
show examples
. They might be lonely until
this
Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, a
lot
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 of
students
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 can be loneliness in the first
time
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 in their
college
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 after the
gab
Use the right word
gap
show examples
year
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. But
this
Linking Words
 cannot outweigh the advantage
saving
Change preposition
of saving
show examples
 their academic future
to work
Change preposition
by working
show examples
 during
this
Linking Words
year
Use synonyms
. If they do not have enough money for the
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
. Or if they aim to apply for
universities
Use synonyms
 out of their countries, they can avoid
language
Use synonyms
 problems to take the gab
year
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for studying
Wrong verb form
to study
show examples
 the
language
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 of the
unversity
Correct your spelling
university
.
This
Linking Words
 makes them avoid
waste
Wrong verb form
wasting
show examples
 their
college
Use synonyms
sessions
Use synonyms
 there without understanding the
language
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Answer the question more directly. Say clearly that the good points are stronger than the bad points, and keep this idea clear in all parts.
task response
Use clearer main ideas for each body part. One part can be about language learning, and one part can be about money from work.
task response
Add one short real example in each body part. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to believe.
coherence cohesion
Make your sentences shorter and easier to follow. Some long sentences make your meaning hard to understand.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Use words like First, Also, However, For example, and As a result.
coherence cohesion
Keep one idea in one sentence or one group of sentences. Now, some sentences mix many ideas together.
task response
You answer both sides: the good side and the bad side of a gap year.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant: language study, work, and feeling alone at university.
Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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