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Writing Samples
Band 7

The bar chart below shows the number of nurses employed in 3 Australian hospitals from 2015 to 2020.

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The bar chart compares the number of
nurses
Use synonyms
 employed in three Australian
hospitals
Use synonyms
 between 2015 and 2020.
Overall
Linking Words
, all three
hospitals
Use synonyms
 increased their nursing staff over the period. Hospital
C
Use synonyms
 consistently employed the most
nurses
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 Hospital A had the fewest.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the differences between the
hospitals
Use synonyms
 became more pronounced by 2020. In 2015, Hospital
C
Use synonyms
 had 250
nurses
Use synonyms
 on staff, which was substantially higher than Hospital B, with 180
nurses
Use synonyms
 and Hospital A, with only 120
nurses
Use synonyms
. By 2020, Hospital
C
Use synonyms
 saw the largest absolute growth, rising to 320
nurses
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 represents an increase of 70
nurses
Use synonyms
, or 28 per cent, over the five years. The growth at Hospital
C
Use synonyms
 outpaced the other two
hospitals
Use synonyms
 throughout the period. Hospital B
also
Linking Words
 experienced significant growth, increasing from 180 to 260
nurses
Use synonyms
, which was an addition of 80 staff members.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Hospital A showed the slowest rate of expansion, growing from 120 to just 150
nurses
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the gap between the highest and lowest employers widened considerably. In 2015, the difference between Hospital
C
Use synonyms
 and Hospital A was 130
nurses
Use synonyms
, but by 2020,
this
Linking Words
 gap had increased to 170
nurses
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words nurses, hospitals, c with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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