IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people debate whether
science
Use synonyms
 should aim to improve the living quality of people. I think they are right. But the main idea they are dismissing
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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that's
Correct word choice
is
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 already the main purpose and aim of the
science
Use synonyms
, wittingly or not.
For example
Linking Words
, the research about space, education, health, biology, etc. They're serving to improve our life quality. Because all of these topics are related to humans and humanity. Let's begin with biology. What is the main purpose of biology? Exactly the process
on
Change preposition
of
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 the lives of living beings.
According to
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 that, we are able to understand how our body works
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it's improving the knowledge of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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doctors for attaching to illness. So even if they search
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 Komodo dragon habits, it can
cause
Verb problem
lead
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 to
find
Replace the word
the discovery of
 a protein about human life
and
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, and
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 it can
cause
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lead
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 to
discover
Replace the word
the discovery of
 many things about human diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, that's an agreeable protest about
science
Use synonyms
 searches about the army, but we have to be aware
of
Change preposition
apply
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that
:
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apply
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 many inventions in our live because of wars. Surely, I do not support any kind of war
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 the main idea I am trying to say
,
Verb problem
is that, however
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however
Linking Words
, the topic on which
science
Use synonyms
 is working does not matter. End of the way that's causing beneficial detection.
This
Linking Words
 duality highlights the complex relationship between scientific advancement and ethical considerations.
While
Linking Words
 the pursuit of knowledge can lead to significant breakthroughs, it is essential to navigate these advancements with responsibility and mindfulness of their implications on society.

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task response
Give a more clear answer to the question in the first part. Say if you fully agree or only partly agree.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main idea very clear. One paragraph should have one main point.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
task response
Write a short ending that repeats your main view in a clear way.
coherence and cohesion
Some parts do not connect well, so check the order of your ideas.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You use examples from biology and war to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has paragraph breaks, which helps the reader.
coherence and cohesion
There is a short ending sentence at the end.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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