We are becoming increasingly dependent on computer-based technology. How do you think it will change in the future? Is it good for us to rely so much on computers?

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Nowadays, computer
technology
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has become a significant part of our daily lives, including communication, work, education, and entertainment. I believe that computer-based
technology
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is likely to be more advanced and play a bigger role in the future. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of excessive dependence on
computers
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and explain why I believe the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. Computer-based
technology
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is expected to become more advanced and widespread in daily life. One significant development is the increasing use of artificial intelligence in workplaces, schools, and healthcare services.
Thus
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, tasks which require human effort can be completed more quickly and effectively.
For example
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,
computers
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are going to replace workers in complex tasks,
such
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as autonomous driving vehicles.
This
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means that repetitive jobs may be fully automated.
As a result
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, society will become even more reliant on digital systems than it is today.
On the contrary
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, excessive dependence on
computers
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may
also
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give several concerns. Many people are relying on
computers
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to do tasks that they could do by themselves, so they may become less capable of solving problems.
For instance
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, Thai students usually use “Photomath,” a
math solving
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math-solving
application, to solve simple math problems
instead
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of working on their own.
Consequently
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, critical-thinking, problem-solving,
practical
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and practical
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skills may be weakened. In spite of that, if
computers
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are used as tools
instead
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of substitutes for human thinking, these drawbacks can be omitted. To
summarize
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summarise
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,
while
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relying too much on
computers
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shows some disadvantages, people are likely to use them more and more in their lives. I personally believe that
technology
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will continue changing in the future, and we should enhance our thoughts with the support of advanced
technology
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.

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task response
Task response: You answer both questions, but your view is not fully clear in all parts. Say more clearly if relying on computers is mostly good or bad, and keep this idea the same from start to end.
task response
Task response: Your ideas are good, but some parts need more detail. Explain more about how computer use will change in the future, not only that it will grow.
task response
Task response: Your example about students using an app is useful, but you need one more strong example for the good side of computer use.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some link words are not used in the best way, such as 'On the contrary.' Here, 'However' is better.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Some ideas could connect more smoothly. For example, the move from AI in health and school to self-driving cars feels a bit fast. Add one small sentence to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: In one sentence, the list 'critical-thinking, problem-solving, practical skills' needs better form. Write it in a smoother way, like 'critical thinking, problem solving, and practical skills may become weaker.'
task response
Task response: You answer both parts of the question, so the essay stays on topic.
task response
Task response: You give a clear example about students using a math app, which helps support your point.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your introduction and conclusion are both present and easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Each body paragraph has one main idea, so the essay is easy to read.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Artificial Intelligence (AI)
  • Machine Learning
  • Automated
  • Internet of Things (IoT)
  • Telecommuting
  • Digital Technology
  • Virtual Workplaces
  • Computer-assisted
  • Healthcare Industry
  • Reliance
  • Privacy
  • Human Interaction
  • Job Displacement
  • Automation
  • Digital Divide
  • Cybersecurity
  • Internet Safety
  • Digital Crime
  • Ethical Considerations
  • Environmental Impacts
  • E-waste
  • Carbon Footprint
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