The graphs below show the enrolments of overseas students and local students in Australian universities over a ten year period.

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The chart displays the enrolments of overseas
students
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and local
students
Use synonyms
in Australian
third-velver
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third-level
education over a
ten year
Check wording
ten-year period
show examples
.
Overall
Linking Words
,all
totall nubmers
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total numbers
of
students
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in both
digrams
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diagrams
are increased .
While
Linking Words
the commerncing in overseas
students
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inreased
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increased
steadily , it is
nealy steable
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nearly stable
in local
students
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. The total
numbers
Check wording
number
show examples
of overseas
students
Use synonyms
started by 20000 in 2001 and continued to
raised
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
steadily
Use synonyms
untill
Correct your spelling
until
the end of the period with nearly 80000 in 2010 .
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
the other
side
Check wording
hand
show examples
, the total number of
ocal
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local
students
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is
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
increased significantly all
long
Use the right word
along
show examples
the ten
yeras
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years
,starting with 400000 and keept raised
untill
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2007 with 600000 ,
then
Linking Words
staed steabale
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started stable
with the same
numer
Correct your spelling
number
until the end of the period . The commerncing in overseas
students
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,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
started with
apporximatiley
Correct your spelling
approximately
15000 , and keept rasing slightly
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untill
Correct your spelling
until
2006 with 20000 , and
then
Linking Words
increased to 40000 in 2009 , and
ends
Wrong verb form
ended
show examples
with the same
amounts
Fix the agreement mistake
amount
show examples
in 2010 .
While
Linking Words
in local
students
Use synonyms
,
strated
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started
with an
increasing
Replace the word
increase
to nearly
above
Change preposition
apply
show examples
20000 in 2002 , and
then
Linking Words
decreased
Correct your spelling
until
untill
Use synonyms
2007
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
20000 ,
afrer
Correct your spelling
after
that nearly stead staeable
untill
Use synonyms
the end of the period with the same
nubmer
Correct your spelling
number
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, untill with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • enrolments
  • overseas students
  • local students
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuations
  • globalization
  • attractiveness
  • education
  • socio-economic factors
  • implications
  • percentages
  • comparison
  • period
  • universities
  • statistics
  • demographics
  • longitudinal study
  • analysis
  • higher education
  • international students
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