Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness. Discuss both views.

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There is a big controversy regarding whether

money

Use synonyms

is a vital factor for happiness. Some opine it is unrelated ,

while

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others disagree.

This

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essay will evaluate both viewpoints, followed by my personal opinion. On one hand of the argument,

money

Use synonyms

is a major element.

This

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can be characterised in two ways. The first is materialistic bliss, which means

individuals

Use synonyms

get satisfaction from objects and items. There has been an increasing trend for

individuals

Use synonyms

to go on shopping sprees as a distraction and coping mechanism for their problems. To illustrate, research by psychologists in Thailand shows that a large proportion of people spend a lot of

fund

Replace the word

money

on unnecessary objects when they are under stress. Another reason is fulfilling desires , and

this

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is impossible to achieve without finances.

Thus

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money

Use synonyms

is a vital element for elation and contentment.

For example

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, statistics show that nearly 100% of teenagers, whether rich or poor, own a mobile phone, be it first-hand or second-hand. For some, simply having a mobile phone is a luxury which their parents may struggle to afford , but without it, the teenager cannot survive.

This

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proves that life without finance is an unhappy life!

On the other hand

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, others believe it has nothing to do with being happy.

As a result

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this

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suggests that their mindset is that jubilation is intangible and comes from within oneself.

For instance

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individuals

Use synonyms

find joy in spending quality time with their family after dinner, watching movies and playing board games.

Moreover

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this

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can be looked at in a religious or cultural sense ,

such

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as people find joy in assisting other

individuals

Use synonyms

as well as

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Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

being happy knowing they do good deeds by helping members of their community and society by doing charity or donation. All in all, I think

money

Use synonyms

is a very important aspect.

This

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is because it is the core consideration that allows one to survive.

Furthermore

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, it enables

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

to donate and hold charity events for a better cause. Finance may not be the only factor ;

however

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, it plays a significant role.

munvinder1265

Jun 8, 2026

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coherence cohesion

Write your idea in a more direct way. Some lines are hard to follow.

coherence cohesion

Use clear topic sentences for each body paragraph.

task achievement

Make sure each example clearly proves the point before it.

task achievement

Discuss both views in a more equal way. The side about money is stronger than the other side.

task achievement

Avoid very strong claims like 'cannot survive' or 'life without finance is an unhappy life' unless you explain them well.

coherence cohesion

Link ideas with simple words like 'first', 'also', 'for example', and 'in contrast'.

task achievement

You answered both sides of the topic and gave your own view in the end.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

task achievement

You used examples to support your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

345 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
diminishing returns
materialism
personal growth
mindset
self-worth
social status
philanthropy
well-being
experiences
generosity
fulfilling
reduces stress
escalate
acquiring wealth
sense of security
comparative wealth
excessive focus
leisure activities

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Many people believe money is a very important factor for achieving hapiness. Others, however believe that money has nothing to do with hapiness. Discuss both views.

Most countries aim to improve their standard of living through economic development, but many important social values can be lost as a result. Do the advantages of economic development outweigh the disadvantages?

An increasing number of people of all ages are getting information from electronic products, and some people tend to argue printed books as well as magazines are no longer needed. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Schools should only offer subjects that are beneficial to students’ future career success. Other subjects, such as music and sports, are not important. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in team sports, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?