IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Some Countries have implemented mandatory community programs for young people. In these programs, children aged 16 to 18 do charity work, help old people or work with animals. What are some advantages and disadvantages for this for young people?

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It is undeniable that community
programs
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 for young
people
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 improve their responsibility to others. From my perspective,
i
Fix capitalization
I
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 firmly believe that these day's teenigeres required some communication with other
people
Use synonyms
from
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of
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 different ages and learn more about how
give
Verb problem
to give
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 help to anybody
not
Punctuation problem
, not
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 only the one asked for help
but
Punctuation problem
, but
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 for any one
like
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, like
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 oldest and animals.
To begin
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 with, these
programs
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 help
improving
Wrong verb form
improve
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 the
communcation
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communication
 between
people
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 communication
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
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 the friendly feelings for
people
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 in the street and achieved better
life style
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lifestyle
.
For example
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, taking
cat
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a cat
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 from the highway to not being accdenlty crash by cars and
feed
Wrong verb form
feeding
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 it will let the person feel the responsability to that cat. In other hand, one of the biggest disadvantages
that
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is that
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teenagiares
Correct your spelling
teenagers
 may lose attention
for
Change preposition
to
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 their school subject.
Moreover
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, it will lead them to not have time doing homeworks.
For instance
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, the student had a program that start immediatly after school hours
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the student
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 a presentation to prepare
it
Punctuation problem
,
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 and
no
Rephrase
not
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 enough time for that.
To sum up
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, no doubt these
programs
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 will
increse
Correct your spelling
increase
 the communication between
people
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 and improve their
life style
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lifestyle
.
Also
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, in my opinion, we can make these community
programs
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 in proper times
like
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, like
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 in vocations and let the
teneegiers attende
Correct your spelling
teenagers attend
 it, that will hit difference and make more responsible and helper tenageers and that what we need to
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
 these
day's
Correct your spelling
days
.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Write one full main idea for good points and one full main idea for bad points.
task response
Explain your ideas more. Some points are good, but they need a little more detail to feel complete.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and easy to understand. This will make your answer stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good. But some sentences are hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a simpler way. Use words like first, also, however, and finally in the right place.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. This will help your writing feel more organized.
task response
You answered the main question and talked about both advantages and disadvantages.
task response
You gave examples to support your ideas, and this is good for the task.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs show a basic order of ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • mandatory
  • community programs
  • charity work
  • elderly assistance
  • responsibility
  • empathy
  • real-world experience
  • resumes
  • college applications
  • broader understanding
  • societal issues
  • cultures
  • genuine interest
  • academic performance
  • logistical challenges
  • coordination
  • support
  • time-consuming
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