Many museums charge admission fee while others are free. Do the advantage of charging people to visit a museum outweigh the disadvantage?

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A highly controversial issue today relates to whether
to have
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apply
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museums
start
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should start
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charging fees or not. In
this
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essay,I am going to examine
this
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question from both points of view and
then
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explan
Correct your spelling
explain
why I believe
museum
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museums
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should be free. There are people who argue that the benefits coming from the money
spending
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spent
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on public services like museums considerably outweigh
its
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their
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disadvantages. The main reason for believing
this
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is that they
contains
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contain
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precious
piece
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pieces
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that should be protected from the community. One good illustration of
this
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is
Mona
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the Mona
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Lisa painting, which was a symbol for France.
On the other hand
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, others believe that they represent cultural
,
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apply
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history, and artists have the opportunity to present their work to the public eye
is
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, which is
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often argued that
government
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the government
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want profit from it. People often have
this
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opinion because they amount of tourists seeking
this
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type of activity.A second point is that different kinds of art
being
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are
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kept in museums
particularly
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, particularly
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good
example
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examples
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here
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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Egyptian statues that were built by pharaohs in the old centuries. In conclusion, I believe both arguments have their merits. On balance,
however
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, I feel that the outcome
like
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, like
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money
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money,
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came
form
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from
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art and historical tradition
are
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is
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not necessary.
This
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is because it
is represents the identity of civilization
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represents the identity of civilisation
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.

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task response
Answer the main question more clearly. Say early if fees are good or not, and keep this view all through the essay.
task response
Explain each main idea more. Some ideas are too short or not fully clear.
task response
Use examples that clearly support your point. Some examples are named, but the link to your idea is weak.
coherence and cohesion
Make topic sentences clear at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Connect ideas with simple linking words like first, also, however, and as a result.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order. A few parts are hard to follow because ideas jump too fast.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, which gives the essay a full shape.
task response
You try to discuss both sides before giving your view.
task response
You use some examples like Mona Lisa and Egyptian statues.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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