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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?

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For a long
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 was a privilege and was accessible
for
Change preposition
only to
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 wealthy
people
Use synonyms
. But now it is believed that
education
Use synonyms
 can not be treated in
this
Linking Words
 way, and should be accepted as
basic
Correct article usage
a basic
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 human right and must be free for everyone despite of personal wealth. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, because
people
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
 and perform better when they pay for it, but free
education
Use synonyms
 could help science to develop and open
Use synonyms
students
Check wording
students'
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 potential.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, if
people
Use synonyms
will
Wrong verb form
apply
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get
the
Correct article usage
an
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education
Use synonyms
 for
free
Punctuation problem
free,
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then
Linking Words
would
Correct pronoun usage
they would
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 not
value
Use synonyms
 it properly.
Cost
Correct article usage
The cost
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 of
education
Use synonyms
 is not just
pack
Correct article usage
a pack
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 of words
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 behind it
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are plenty researches who sacrificed their life for it and centuries of time. By knowing that quid pro quo is
also
Linking Words
 in
education
Use synonyms
,
students
Use synonyms
more
Verb problem
are more
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 likely to perform more and
value
Use synonyms
 the
teachers
Check wording
teacher's
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 efforts.
Besides
Linking Words
 that,
education
Use synonyms
 increases self-esteem and gives
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hope to live, to have
clear
Correct article usage
a clear
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 view
for
Change preposition
of
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 the future and by the end of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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graduation and gained skills have competitive-wage in
market
Correct article usage
the market
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.
For instance
Linking Words
,
according to
Linking Words
phycologists
Correct your spelling
psychologists
,
people
Use synonyms
 are more likely to
value
Use synonyms
when
Check wording
something when
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 they
sacrificed
Verb problem
have sacrificed
show examples
 something,
it may be
Change preposition
such as
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 time, efforts or money.
Therefore
Linking Words
, making paid
education
Use synonyms
 filters out the rest and keeps the
students
Use synonyms
 who understand the
value
Use synonyms
 of
education
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 it creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social stratification
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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 is detrimental
for
Change preposition
to
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 mental health and reduce amount of talented
students
Use synonyms
.
Myriad
Correct article usage
A myriad
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 of
students
Use synonyms
 can not pursue their desired degree
due to
Linking Words
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of money
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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unfortunately
Add a comma
unfortunately,
show examples
 they
whether
Correct word choice
apply
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have to choose affordable major or
ending up
Wrong verb form
end
show examples
 their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Giving a chance to those
students
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 could have changed their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 or maybe
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 the number of
researches
Replace the word
researchers
 that could positively
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 humanity and develop science.
For example
Linking Words
, most of Ivy
leagues
Fix capitalization
League
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students
Use synonyms
 on scholarships are in STEM because of
passion
Correct determiner usage
their passion
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 that they have and not losing it
making
Change preposition
by making
show examples
move
Correct article usage
a move
show examples
on
Change preposition
into
show examples
 science.
Therefore
Linking Words
, giving a chance to those
students
Use synonyms
 who are interested and
passioned
Replace the word
passionate
 could make the world easier for
students
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
education
Use synonyms
 is not cheap
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 most of the researches are funded by neither corporations
or
Correct word choice
nor the
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 government and not
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every passing
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
student with great passion can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it. I think it is better to give discounts for low-income families and support them despite of
the
Correct article usage
their
show examples
 income they have.

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task response
Make your main view more clear from the start. You say you partly agree, but some ideas later do not fully match this view.
coherence cohesion
Add one clear main idea in each body paragraph, then explain it in a simple step-by-step way.
task response
Use examples that are more direct and easy to trust. Some examples now feel too general.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and therefore, but do not overuse them.
task response
Check that each sentence clearly connects to the question about free education for all people.
task response
You answer the question and give a clear position: you partly agree.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
You try to support your ideas with reasons and an example.
Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fundamental right
  • accessible
  • social mobility
  • personal and professional development
  • overall development
  • equality
  • social disparities
  • access
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