IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

The plan below shows a school in 1985 and the school now. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main feature, and make comparisons where relevant.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
The map illustrates the passage of time and how the
school
Use synonyms
 has changed its structure since 1985 to
nowadays
Check wording
the present day
show examples
, where the
increase
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 takes on an important role in the updates of the
school
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it is well-known that the number of
students
Use synonyms
 has increased from 1500 in 1985 to 2300 nowadays, meaning there are 800
Use synonyms
students more
Correct word order
more students
show examples
. The
school
Use synonyms
 has been adapted over the years to the
increase
Use synonyms
 in
students
Use synonyms
. Some updates that the
school
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 made are a swimming pool, a fitness centre, and the library, which has been updated to be a Learning Resources Centre and a computer room. At the same time, the size of the car park has decreased.
Secondly
Linking Words
, in
1985
Punctuation problem
1985,
show examples
 the
school
Use synonyms
 had a student population of 1500. About the division of spaces, a large area was given to the playing fields,
while
Linking Words
 a smaller space was divided into different areas
like
Punctuation problem
, like
show examples
 the classrooms, classroom blocks, and the library. Nowadays, with the
increase
Use synonyms
 in the number of
students
Use synonyms
, they
chose
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
 to
prioritize
Change the spelling
prioritise
show examples
 having more classrooms.
To conclude
Linking Words
, as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time passed by, the
school
Use synonyms
 adapted to new updates and the
increase
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
students
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Add more key map changes. Say what moved, what got bigger, and what was removed.
task response
Use a clear overview after the first line. Give the main changes in one short part.
task response
Compare old and new in each body part, not only one time point.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, next, while, and now.
coherence cohesion
Group changes by area of the school. This will make the report easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Some points are too general. Add a few exact details from the map to support each main idea.
task response
You include the main idea that the school changed because there are more students now.
task response
You mention some important changes, like the new pool, fitness centre, and smaller car park.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear start, middle, and end.
coherence cohesion
Basic linking words like firstly, secondly, and to conclude help the reader follow your ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: