It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

In today's globalised world, the majority of adults are working almost every day for at least 8 hours, including people who have

children

Use synonyms

. Learning what is

right

Use synonyms

and wrong at an early age is really important.

Moreover

Linking Words

, a little bit of punishment would assist parents. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. Social media and digital content have become something more than just an instrument for entertainment.

Children

Use synonyms

from all over the world use it , and they receive information from there.

Although

Linking Words

many people know that it has drawbacks for our mental health, we are using social media.

Children

Use synonyms

do not know what is true or untrue

Punctuation problem

;

show examples

furthermore

Linking Words

, they cannot pick out what is

right

Use synonyms

and what is not

right

Use synonyms

Consequently

Linking Words

, from the time when kids begin using phones, parents and maybe sometimes older siblings must teach them about safe way employ smartphones and other types of technology.

Finally

Linking Words

, some websites or phones have a mode for

children

Use synonyms

, it will help from dangerous information and content. At

this

Linking Words

moment , we have a question: "Which type of punishment can train to be the

right

Use synonyms

person and not destroy

children

Use synonyms

's psychology?" If give an answer based only on my opinion,

Fix capitalization

show examples

would set a limit for the utilisation of smartphones and computers.

Instead

Linking Words

of it, father or mother ought to read the books together. Reading book have so many benefits.

In addition

Linking Words

, in the future,

children

Use synonyms

who read books will find it easy to study in school , and their memory will be worked amazingly. In conclusion, learning is always advantageous for everyone, especially for

children

Use synonyms

. Some sort of punishment is essential for growing. When parents are with their kids, they will become good people in the future.

solo.sss091

Jun 9, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Answer both parts more directly. Say more clearly how far you agree, and give one or two clear kinds of punishment.

task response

Keep your main idea close to the question. The part about social media is linked, but it takes too much space and does not fully explain punishment.

task response

Use more clear examples from home or school. This will make your ideas stronger and easier to trust.

coherence and cohesion

Make each body paragraph have one main point only. This will help the reader follow your essay more easily.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas in a smoother way. Some joining words are used, but a few sentences do not connect well.

coherence and cohesion

Check paragraph flow. The second paragraph asks a question, but the answer could start more directly and clearly.

task response

You give a clear opinion in the introduction: you fully agree.

task response

You try to answer the second part by suggesting limits on phone and computer use.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use some linking words like 'moreover', 'consequently', and 'in conclusion'.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

287 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

moral education
decision-making
appropriate punishment
reinforce
consequences
time-outs
loss of privileges
natural consequences
harsh punishment
emotional damage
positive reinforcement
fair and measured punishments

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
It is often said "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they are visit? do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?
A pretty popular phrase “When in Rome, do as the Romans do” suggests that travelling to another country is not just exploring a new area, but also accepting their culture and history. In my perspective, it is not necessary to learn another language to learn history, as plenty of sources to learn in convenient language are available.
7
band
Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Although it is sometimes thought that schools ought to teach children to compete, other people believe that the focus should be on cooperation. In my opinion, I consider that competition helps children learn the most important skills for their future life.
7.5
band
Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children wil find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In the contemporary era, some families choose to migrate abroad in order to get better employment opportunities. Although, this trend is beneficial for children as they can get a better education as well as knowledge about different cultures, in the opposite direction this can be detrimental to children’s mental status and orthodox values. In this essay, I will discuss both the given school of thought followed by my own opinion.
6
band
Computer an AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development.
Modernization in all fields also leads to machines gradually replacing humans to undertake responsibility, especially such as AI technology and computers are now being applied in the schooling aspect. The primary reason why the phenomenon happening is computer and AI technology are seen as the second teacher, play a vital role and also an unlackable tool to aim cadres, and argue that this will have a negative impact on society because of positive learning.
7
band
Some people believe that governments should prioritize spending on public services rather than arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It argued that governments have to put public services on top of spending money more than arts such as music and painting . I disagree with this statement regardless of the importance of public

It is important for children to learn what is right and what is wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn the distinction. To what extent do you agree? What sort of punsihment should be given?

It is often said "When in Rome, do as the Romans do". Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country they are visit? do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Nowadays, many families move overseas for job opportunities. Some people think this is beneficial for the children of these families, while others think children wil find it difficult. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Computer an AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development.

Some people believe that governments should prioritize spending on public services rather than arts such as music and painting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?