IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Men and women are having children late in life. What are the reasons and the effects on society and family?

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Having a child when
your
Use the right word
you're
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 old could come with diseases thats what some studies are on about
, it
Punctuation problem
. It
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 will
also
Linking Words
effect
Use the right word
affect
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 your relationship with your son or daughter, because of the
age
Use synonyms
 gap.
Linking Words
Initially
Add a comma
Initially,
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 most parents say that the reason for having a child later in
life
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
apply
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it`s because
Correct word choice
is that
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 they
say we
Verb problem
apply
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want to enjoy
our
Fix the agreement mistake
their
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 lives so they can travel, go out with friends, and have fun. Taking care of children might be hard or stressful, but its the way of
life
Use synonyms
 and
that is
Linking Words
 why god created us, its a fair excuse but if you give birth let`s say at the
age
Use synonyms
 of 40 you`re putting your son`s
life
Use synonyms
 at risk, studies show that giving birth late in
life
Use synonyms
 will raise the chances of your child to get down syndrome or any other diseases,
in addition
Linking Words
 to that the
age
Use synonyms
 gap between the parent and the kid impressive which mean`s that you can not understand your kid in the future or be friends with him.
Linking Words
Furthermore
Add a comma
Furthermore,
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 the operation would be harder on doctors when
your
Use the right word
you're
show examples
 older. It will not
effect
Use the right word
affect
show examples
 the society or the family more than the things we already talked about. In my opinion, having a boy or a girl when you are advanced in
age
Use synonyms
 is wrong, because of the chances of your son
to get
Wrong verb form
getting
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 sick
, the
Punctuation problem
. The
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 perfect
age
Use synonyms
 to give birth is somewhere between 25
to
Correct word choice
and
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 35
,
Punctuation problem
;
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 it is safer for you and your children in the future.

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task response
Task response: Answer both parts more fully. You talk more about reasons and less about effects on society and family.
task response
Task response: Add clearer ideas. Some points are too general, like saying it is wrong, but not fully showing why in a full way.
task response
Task response: Use one or two clear examples. For example, older parents may have more money and stable work, but may have less energy at home.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Your essay has a basic order with an opening, body, and end, but some parts do not connect well.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Make one main idea for each paragraph. Now, some ideas are mixed together.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Use simple linking words clearly, like first, also, as a result, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: Support each main point with a short reason or example so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
Task response: You answer the topic and give your opinion clearly.
task response
Task response: You give some reasons for late parenthood, such as wanting freedom and fun first.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use paragraphs, and this helps the reader see your main parts.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion: You use some linking words like initially, furthermore, and in my opinion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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