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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Certain individuals consider
competition
Use synonyms
 in various aspects of life,
such
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 as the workplace, educational environment and even daily situations, as beneficial,
while
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 others claim that emphasising collaboration deeply could be more effective.
This
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 essay will argue that both
competition
Use synonyms
 and cooperation can enhance
overall
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 productivity if they are implemented depending on the situation. As
competition
Use synonyms
 is the driving force of personal growth, it always remains essential in any part of our lives. A human being tends to strive for levelling up his position in a particular group,
such
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 as in a school, at work and even at the gym.
This
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 tendency causes a natural
competition
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 among individuals, requiring constant learning.
For instance
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, school students try to be the best students at the school by studying harder than other classmates, which may be valuable in their future academic path.
Furthermore
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, a worker at a company endeavours to develop innovative solutions to earn higher compensation or go up the career ladder, motivating others to stay proactive.
On the other hand
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, achieving greater goals heavily depends on teamwork, which demands strong collaboration. By cooperating with coworkers, teams break down complex issues into manageable parts, and each staff member can complete their share of work easily. Another good thing is that when a worker finishes his task before the deadline, he can give a hand to another coworker, preventing the final product from being delayed. In conclusion, I believe an adequate mix of
competition
Use synonyms
 and collaboration would be the most balanced strategy. Only by achieving
this
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 balance can organisations, schools and the whole community reach their full potential.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You talk about competition and cooperation, but the side for cooperation needs more detail.
task response
Give your opinion more clearly in body parts, not only in the end.
task response
Use one more clear and real example for cooperation to make your ideas stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow, but some ideas are general. Explain why they matter in a deeper way.
coherence and cohesion
Link some ideas more smoothly. A few parts feel a bit separate.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each main point has enough support before you move to the next point.
task response
You answer both views and give your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Main ideas are mostly easy to understand.
task response
You use examples from school and work, which fit the topic well.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • innovation
  • productivity
  • excel
  • outperform
  • advancements
  • academic standards
  • work ethic
  • stress
  • anxiety
  • unhealthy rivalries
  • harmonious
  • supportive
  • collaborative learning
  • social skills
  • communication skills
  • sense of community
  • collective goals
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