People buy good products that work, therefore, advertising is unnecessary and is no more than a form of entertainment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

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The issue of whether advertising has become increasingly contentious in modern society.
Although
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there are different viewpoints, I firmly maintain that advertising plays a vital role
for
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in
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companies' sales, as
this
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essay demonstrates.
Firstly
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, a particularly compelling reason is the growth of companies.
This
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is primarily because ads on social media apps or on television persuade individuals to purchase the items. Which has siginificant implication for
salesman
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salesmen
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and other co-workers because it leads to their promotion when they
acheive
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achieve
their sales target .
For instance
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, on
televeison
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television
OREAO biscuit ads
runn
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run
all the time
and
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, and
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kids want to taste these biscuits and parents
brought
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bring
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them for kids after which the kids
told to
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tell
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their family and friends about the taste and now
its
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it
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clearly
illusrates
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illustrates
this
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point
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. Therefore
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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it becomes
unequivocally
Replace the word
unequivocal
evidence that it plays a
povital
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vital
role in the
groth
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growth
of brands.
Secondly
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, another persuasive argument is that
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advertisment crear
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advertising creates
more opportunities for individuals
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such
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, such
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as employment.
This
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can be attributed
the
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to
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the fact that when
compnies
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companies'
products
are
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apply
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become popular
due to
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advertisment
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when their products
in
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are in
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the
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apply
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demand
so
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,
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they
neeed
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need
more
empoyees
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employees
,ultimately shaping the brand in a profound manner.
For example
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, Nestle
milk pak limited
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Milk Pak Limited
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is one of the most popular
brand
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brands
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in
pakistan
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Pakistan
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that
creat
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creates
more and more opportunities for youth
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such
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, such
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as paid internships, seats for
receiptionist
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receptionists
,
labortary technicicians
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laboratory technicians
,
effectviely demostrates
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effectively demonstrates
this
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claim.
Hence
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, it is
apperent
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apparent
that
advertisment
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impacting in a postive way for the growth of every
bussiness
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business
.
Consequently
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, the argument presented above
make
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makes
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it clear that
Use synonyms
advertisment
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advertisement
can help you to reach out of the country and help you in the
groth
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growth
of any
bussiness
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business
.If appropriate
measure
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measures
show examples
are taken,
this
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can
lead
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apply
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be managed more effectively in the future.

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task response
Answer the main question more directly. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree, and keep this clear in all parts.
task response
Add more on the other side of the idea. The topic says ads may be not needed, but your essay only shows why ads help.
task response
Explain each main idea more fully. Some points are good, but the meaning is hard to follow in places.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple link words well, like First, Also, For example, and In short. Some links now are long or not clear.
coherence and cohesion
Keep sentences complete and joined well. A few parts stop too early or start with words like Which.
coherence and cohesion
Make your examples shorter and clearer. Then they will support your main point better.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear intro, two body parts, and a conclusion.
task response
Your main view is clear: you think ads are important.
task response
You use examples from real brands, and this helps your ideas feel real.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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