Topic: the graph below shows the number of university graduates in Canada from 1992 to 2007.

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The line graph
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
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the total number of university
graduates
Use synonyms
in Canada between 1992 and 2007.
Overall
Linking Words
,
womens
Check wording
women's
show examples
total university
graduats
Correct your spelling
graduates
score is recorded higher
then
Linking Words
mens.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
females figure had a slight decrease,
it
Fix the agreement mistake
they
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rose steadily afterwards.
Mens
Check wording
Men's
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score increased slightly over a period of time.
Womens
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Women's
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number of
graduates
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was higher than
males
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men's
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in 1992 at 99,00 and rose steadily to 105,00 in 1994.
Although
Linking Words
females
Check wording
the number of females
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figure
Check wording
apply
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slightly decreased to100,00 between 1996 and 1998, it increased to 101,00 in the 2000s. After the
2000s
Punctuation problem
2000s,
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the rate
experinced
Correct your spelling
experienced
a significant growth over the three years
peaking
Punctuation problem
, peaking
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at 195,000 in 2006
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is considered the highest rate for
fremale
Correct your spelling
female
graduates
Use synonyms
. Men
Linking Words
on
Punctuation problem
, on
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the other hand, had a lower number of
graduates
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compared to
womens
Correct your spelling
women
.In 1992 males
graduates
Use synonyms
were only 70,000.After a year its figure has increased to 79 per graduate in 1994.
However
Linking Words
, the score dramatically
incresed
Correct your spelling
increased
between 1996 and 1998 to 71graduates.In the
2000s
Punctuation problem
2000s,
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the rate
has
Wrong verb form
apply
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increased to 73 and continued to rise till 2006
which
Punctuation problem
, which
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is the peak level for 99,000 per
gradaute
Correct your spelling
graduate
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
Vocabulary: Replace the words graduates with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
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