IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

There are many reasons that can motivate a person to stay working for the same company. Some believe that money is the main reason. Do you agree or disagree? What are some other reasons why people may sta

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Some
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to work with the same employer for
long
Correct article usage
a long
show examples
 period. Some individuals consider that salary is one of the prime
Use synonyms
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 behind
people
Use synonyms
 staying at same job. There is no doubt about the fact that
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary is one of the main
reason
Use synonyms
however
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 many other factors behind employees
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
 with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 organisation. As far as my views are concerned, there are several other reasons behind
people
Use synonyms
stick
Wrong verb form
sticking
show examples
 with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 company. First and foremost
reason
Use synonyms
 is that many
people
Use synonyms
consider
Verb problem
prefer
show examples
 to stay in their comfort zone.
Such
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are reluctant to work in
different
Correct article usage
a different
show examples
 environment. They are afraid to work in new places, with new colleagues and new employees.
Moreover
Linking Words
, interviews are another barrier
behind
Change preposition
to
show examples
 trying a new job. Some individuals are not really confident
to face
Change preposition
about facing
show examples
 interviews.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some workers think that other organisations may have complex requirements to get hired.
In addition
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 are very busy in their personal life
such
Linking Words
 as, they are looking after their growing families. They do not have time to prepare
resume
Correct article usage
a resume
show examples
 and
cover
Correct article usage
a cover
show examples
 letter for
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 job recruitment. In conclusion, no doubt money is one of the main
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
show examples
 behind
people
Use synonyms
 staying with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 organisation for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 period,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer to stay in their comfort zone is
also
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another prime
reason
Use synonyms
. Many
people
Use synonyms
 are afraid to face new challenges.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. Say clearly if you agree or disagree, and explain why.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph focus on one main idea only.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words carefully, such as first, also, however, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects well to the next one.
task response
Develop your points more. Do not stop after one short reason.
task response
You answered the topic and wrote about salary and other reasons.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas are easy to follow, like comfort zone and fear of interviews.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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