IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The main purpose of public libraries should be to provide books. Public libraries should not spend their limited resources on computer software, videos, or DVDs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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For centuries, where
libraries
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 remained a place to preserve ancient writings and wisdom, they kept spreading enlightenment for many scientists, who made good use of
such
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 facilities in olden days. Many individuals argue that local archives should not exhaust their confined funds in digitalisation.
Libraries
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 kept on adopting several upgrades and changes to better serve their visitors. I believe sourcing digital devices and employing software to benefit end users is crucial in the modern era.
To begin
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 with, modern
libraries
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 should meet modern needs, so computers and digital materials are
also
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 important for learning, job search, research, and public
access
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 to the latest information.
For instance
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, many universities offer library
access
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 to their postgraduate students to utilise research papers and books which are not easily available outside the universities.
Similarly
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, if
libraries
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 provide up-to-date technology to their end users , like computer devices and digital print for reading, analysis and compiling their own thesis, it will help them to communicate easily across the boarder for peer review.
Secondly
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, many people, especially poor families and older people many not have a computer or internet at home, so
libraries
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 can help close
this
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 gap.
For instance
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, students who can not afford digital devices to prepare their assignments can benefit from local
libraries
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.
Additionally
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, if any graduate is trying to
access
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 an online job database, they can comfortably
access
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 the local archive to do their market research. In conclusion, the upgrade of local
libraries
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 offers various benefits, especially digitalising itself for better service to its end users. On one side, I firmly agree with
such
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 modernisation, I would recommend governments and local authorities to come up to support
libraries
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 in funding
such
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 enhancements.

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task response
Make your main view more clear in the first paragraph. Say if you agree, disagree, or partly agree in a direct way.
task response
Answer all parts of the task in a more full way. Explain why books are still important, then show why other media are also needed.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Your ideas are good, but some examples are too general.
coherence and cohesion
Put your ideas in a more simple order. Some sentences are long and hard to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words and sentence flow. A few parts do not connect well, like the first sentence of the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make each body paragraph start with one clear main idea, then support it with 2 or 3 clear points.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and gives a clear general position.
task response
You use examples about students, poor families, and job seekers, which fit the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • limited resources = not much money or support
  • public access = use by all people
  • at the center = the main part
  • meet modern needs = give what people need now
  • close the gap = reduce the difference between groups
  • deep learning = careful and serious study
  • quiet study space = calm place for reading and work
  • digital materials = online or computer-based content
  • free access to books = books that people can use without payment
  • job search = looking for work
  • research = careful study to find information
  • public service = help given to the community
  • keep a balance = give support to both sides
  • essential role = very important function
  • broad range of users = many different kinds of people
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