IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that the difference between the lowest paind jobs and the highest paid jobs should be reduced. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The divide between low-paid and high-paid occupations has become a topic of considerable debate in modern society. I completely reject
this
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 argument as it fails to consider several important factors.
To begin
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 with, one of the most significant reasons is that having a cut and a difference between a low-paid Job and a high-paid career can completely motivate workers to work hard and be more productive at their
operation
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work
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 to gain a higher salary. A good illustration is that if there weren't a difference between salaries,
theemployees
Correct your spelling
the employees
 wouldn't work hard and would be lazy at their work.
This
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 drives economic growth and encourages productivity across all sectors. Without
such
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 incentives,
overall
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 performance in the workforce may decline.
Furthermore
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, high pay for certain jobs is a direct reflection of skill level , responsibility and training time needed for
this
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 job.
For instance
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 , Docters often make critical decisions that affect the lives of many people. Reducing their financial rewards would undermine motivation and could discourage talented individuals from entering
such
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 demanding careers.
As a result
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, society may suffer from a shortage of highly skilled professionals.
In addition
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, it should
also
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 be considered that attempts to artificially reduce income gaps may create unfair government interference in the labour market. Different industries have different levels of risk, pressure, and complexity, and fees should naturally reflect these differences rather than being controlled by strict limitations. Taking everything into consideration, I firmly believe that reducing the gap between high and low earnings would do more harm than good, as it could damage motivation, productivity, and economic efficiency.

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task response
Make your main idea more clear in each body part.
task response
Add one more clear and real example to support your view.
task response
Explain your ideas a bit more so the reader can see why they are true.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words in a more natural way.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order so each idea grows step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid small grammar and word form mistakes because they can make your meaning less clear.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give a strong opinion from the start.
task response
Your essay stays on the topic and does not go off track.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Most ideas are grouped well into separate parts.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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