IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

n many countries, it is common for people to consume fast food. However, some people believe that fast food has too much influence on our lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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There are in increasing number of
people
Use synonyms
 who consume fast
food
Use synonyms
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
 in many countires
however
Linking Words
,some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that
this
Linking Words
negativally influanced
Correct your spelling
negatively influences
 our
lifestyle
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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i
Fix capitalization
I
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 believe that
due to
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 the harmfull affect fast
food
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 can lead to On one hand,
people
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 argue that fast
food
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 is cheaper and less
time-consuming
Punctuation problem
time-consuming,
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that's
Correct pronoun usage
which is
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 why it is common
thesedays
Correct your spelling
these days
.Eating is a natural habit and a need for everyone
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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 when fast
food
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 came in
it
Punctuation problem
, it
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 made
this
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 habit easier by how fast the meal can be done
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 it
taste
Correct subject-verb agreement
tastes
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 good at the same time
so
Punctuation problem
, so
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people
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 tend to have a quick meal rather than waiting 30 minutes or more to eat.
However
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, I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
lifestyle
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 because it is really unhealthy and eventually will negatively impact your health.
On the other hand
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,fast
food
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 can affect your
lifestyle
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 and lead to diseases.Nowadays
with
Punctuation problem
, with
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 the
increase
Replace the word
increasing
 number of unhealthy resturant it
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
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 hard to stay on track and
countinue
Correct your spelling
continue
 with
the
Correct article usage
a
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 healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 the majority of
people
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now they are
Correct word order
are now
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 drawn
into
Change preposition
to
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 these
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
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 of processed
food
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and
Punctuation problem
, and
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consiquintly
Correct your spelling
consequently
,
this
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 unhealthy diet will lead to chronic illness.
For instance
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, a lot of studies state that poor nutrition drives
over weight
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overweight
 conditions and significantly
increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
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 the risk of diabetes and certain cancers.
Therefore
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,I believe it is true that fast
food
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 can negatively affect
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Check wording
people's
show examples
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 . In conclusion,
although
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 fast
food
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cost
Correct subject-verb agreement
costs
show examples
 nothing and can help with
time consuming
Check wording
time-consuming tasks
show examples
,I believe that
this
Linking Words
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
 will harm your health and
therefore
Linking Words
 it is not worth the risk

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task response
Make your main idea very clear in the first part. Say if you agree or disagree in one full sentence.
task response
Add one more clear reason for your view. This will make your answer feel more complete.
task response
Use a more direct example with simple detail. For example, talk about one health problem and how fast food can cause it.
coherence and cohesion
Put one main idea in each body part and explain it step by step.
coherence and cohesion
Use easy linking words like first, also, for example, and in conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Check long sentences. Split them into two short sentences when needed.
task response
You answer the topic and give your opinion.
task response
You include an example about health and disease.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an opening, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
The order of ideas is mostly easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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