IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Many students are taught to push themselves to try and be better than other students, rather than working together for everyone’s benefits. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays
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Nowadays,
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 many
students
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 are taught to push themselves and try to be better and compete with their classmates, rather than helping
Linking Words
then
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 and working together. Many people think that telling the learners to push themselves and try to do better is a sort of motivation.Encouraging
student
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students
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 to study more and do better in their school work is important because it makes them
discipline
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disciplined
 and motivated.
Competition
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 is
useful
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useful,
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 it
allow's
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 them to
comapre
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compare
 their work with
the other
Correct determiner usage
their
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 classmates and try to improve their assignments to win first place and
achive
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achieve
 their goals.
On the other hand
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, professionals claim that telling the
students
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 to push themselves
causes
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 serious mental and physical
issue's
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issues
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.
Linking Words
Firstly
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Firstly,
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students
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 should not be taught to push
over
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apply
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themselves
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; instead
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instead
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instead,
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 they should be taught that their work is appreciated and no need to compare
yourself
Fix the agreement mistake
themselves
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 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
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other
students
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.
Competition
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causes
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 comparison among
students
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 and
causes
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 stress and mental issues that could ruin the
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students
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students'
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 confidence and
self esteem
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self-esteem
.
Students
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 should learn in a healthy
environmnent
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environment
 where they help each other
away
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, away
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 from
competition
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 and comparison. I believe that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages because excessive
competition
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causes
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 serious issues and damages the
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students
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students'
show examples
 mental health and ability.

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task response
Answer the question more fully. Say clearly why the bad points are stronger than the good points.
task response
Add one or two clear examples to support your ideas.
task response
Develop each main point more. Explain how competition helps and how it hurts.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, however, and because.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and split long sentences to make the flow easier.
task response
You answer both sides of the topic and give your own view.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear ending with your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is in a simple paragraph form that is easy to follow.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic excellence
  • personal growth
  • competitive edge
  • work ethic
  • strive for
  • peer pressure
  • stress/anxiety
  • self-esteem
  • collaboration
  • critical thinking
  • professional environments
  • dishonest tactics
  • teamwork
  • interpersonal skills
  • educational collaboration
  • sense of community
  • shared goals
  • balance
  • mitigate
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