Some people believe that young people should choose the jobs that they want, but other people think they should be more realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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In recent times, the debate over career paths among young
people
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has become a public issue. Some of them believe that young
people
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should follow their heart and choose the type of work they want,
while
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others assume that they should do more research on appying
jobs
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and plan it with consideration for the future. In my point of view, I agree with the latter opinion. First of all, one voice thinks that young
people
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should choose the
jobs
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that they want because it could maintain their mental health.
For example
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, one of my classmates decided to give up her Master's program and made up her mind to pursue a barista
job
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. Despite becoming a Master's, her salary could have been raised,
she
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but she
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made the decision that she did not want to suffer the research pressure anymore and turned to become a barista , which she truly enjoyed.
Therefore
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, in some situations, the folks who apply for the
jobs
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they want might bring benefits to their mental health.
On the other hand
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, the reason that another group of
people
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think young individuals should be more realistic and plan more for their future is that the dream
job
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might come with an unstable income.
For instance
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, some
people
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would join the stock market to earn money;
however
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, it
also
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comes with a high risk that the stock might drop dramatically in a very short time.
Thus
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, a stable income is still necessary. From my perspective, even though both statements have their points, I think young
people
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should take their future seriously. When choosing
jobs
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, they should not only consider the salary but
also
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be aware of the risks behind the
jobs
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.
Moreover
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, the satisfaction with the
job
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is
also
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important. In conclusion, I think the public should focus more on the achievement of their works, whether happiness or wealth. To be more specific,
while
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pursuing the dream
job
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, young folks have to be well planned as well.

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task response
Answer both sides more evenly. Your first side is clear, but the second side needs more full explanation.
task response
Make your opinion very clear from start to end, and keep the same focus in all body parts.
task response
Use more specific examples for the realistic side, linked directly to job choice, not only money risk.
task response
Develop each main idea more. Add one more sentence to explain why and how.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this structure.
coherence and cohesion
Some links are good, but a few ideas jump too fast. Add clearer steps between idea and example.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each paragraph. The conclusion adds a new idea about achievement, which is a bit unclear.
coherence and cohesion
Use clear topic sentences at the start of each body paragraph to guide the reader.
task response
You discuss both views and give your own opinion.
task response
Your introduction clearly shows the topic.
task response
You use an example to support your point about mental health.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has clear paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion is present and easy to find.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like first of all, on the other hand, and in conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • skill development
  • market demands
  • financial stability
  • career growth
  • job security
  • income level
  • fulfilling professional life
  • personal happiness
  • career counseling
  • job market trends
  • adaptability
  • work-life balance
  • health implications
  • job automation
  • redundancy
  • emerging technologies
  • stable employment
  • motivated
  • competent
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