Some experts think that beginning to learn a foreign language in primary school rather than secondary school is better for children. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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The revolution of education has impacted the way individuals look at
language
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learning. Many experts assert that learning a new
language
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should be done before going to middle school, as it has positive outcomes.
This
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essay will discuss why the advantages of
children
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acquiring a second
language
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earlier outweigh the disadvantages of not doing so. A foreign
language
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helps students to differentiate nuances greatly. To start, the younger they are taught a foreign alphabet
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
faster they gain knowledge.
Also
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, learning a second
language
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improves
overall
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cognitive skills
such
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as problem-solving and memory.
This
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helps them to comprehend complex topics in other subjects like science or mathematics.
Furthermore
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, exposure to a different
language
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early on encourages
children
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to be more open-minded and aware of different cultures in our
globalized
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globalised
show examples
world.
Moreover
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, recent studies show that people who started speaking multiple
languages
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from an early age are astoundingly smart. In short, it is significant to introduce various
languages
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to our
children
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in order to provide them with a promising future.
On the other hand
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, many people assume that pupils should only learn their native
language
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. To explain, they claim that
this
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act may result in
children
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feeling overwhelmed or confused by learning two
languages
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at the same time.
This
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could potentially lead to a delay in mastering their
mother-tongue
Correct your spelling
mother tongue
.
Furthermore
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, if the school curriculum focuses too much on a foreign
language
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,
children
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might lose focus on their own local culture and traditions, which may lead to a loss of identity.
Finally
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,
although
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the disadvantages of learning new
languages
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from a young age might be convincing, I believe that the advantages are more compelling. In conclusion,
while
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there are concerns about the academic load and cultural identity, the pros of teaching students a foreign
language
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at a young age,
such
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as better cognitive development and easier acquisition, will reflect on their future significantly.
Thus
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, I strongly think that the benefits of early
language
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education outweigh the drawbacks, and it should be a priority in primary school
curriculums
Replace the word
curricula
.

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task response
Answer both sides more fully. You say the good points are stronger, but you need a bit more on why they are stronger than the bad points.
task response
Use one clear real example. For example, name a school, class, or simple case to support your idea.
task response
Some ideas are good, but a few are too general, like 'promising future' or 'astoundingly smart'. Explain them in a more exact way.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape in future essays.
coherence and cohesion
Linking words are used well, but some are too many. Use fewer if the idea is already clear.
coherence and cohesion
Make each main point grow step by step. In one part, the jump from alphabet to science and math is a bit fast.
task response
You clearly give your opinion and keep it the same from start to end.
task response
You discuss both the good side and the bad side, so the answer is complete.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has a main job.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both clear and fit the question well.
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