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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more young people are interested in finding out about their family background and history. What are the possible reasons? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

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In the modern world, it is undeniable that an increasing number of young
people
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 are becoming interested in learning about their family background and
history
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.
This
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 trend reflects changing attitudes towards
identity
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 and heritage. In
this
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 essay, an attempt will be made to examine the reasons behind
this
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 phenomenon and evaluate whether it is a positive or negative development. One of the most apparent reasons is the growing desire to understand personal
identity
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 and cultural roots. To illustrate, many young individuals want to know where they come from and how their family
history
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 has shaped their lives.
For instance
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, advancements in technology,
such
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 as online records and DNA testing, have made it easier to access historical information.
In addition
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, globalisation has increased exposure to different cultures, which may encourage
people
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 to explore their own heritage in greater depth.
Furthermore
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, family traditions and stories often provide a sense of belonging and continuity. Another point that should not be overlooked is that
this
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 trend can have several positive impacts. To clarify, learning about family
history
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 can strengthen relationships and promote cultural awareness.
For example
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, young
people
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 who understand their heritage may develop greater respect for their ancestors and traditions.
Moreover
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,
this
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 knowledge can help individuals build a stronger sense of
identity
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 and confidence.
While
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 some may argue that focusing too much on the past could limit future perspectives, it is generally beneficial when balanced with modern values. To recapitulate, it is evident that young
people
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 are interested in their family
history
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due to
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 a desire for
identity
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 and the accessibility of information,
while
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 the main effects include stronger cultural awareness and personal development.
Therefore
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, I believe that
this
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 is a positive development, as it helps individuals understand themselves and their place in society more clearly.

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task response
For task response, add one more clear reason in body 1, like school work, family wish, or old photos. This can make your answer more full.
task response
For task response, your examples are good, but they are a bit general. Add one real and clear case to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, your view is clear, but you can explain the negative side a little more before you say why the good side is stronger.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main idea. Keep this clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some linkers like 'To illustrate' and 'To clarify' are used well, but too many formal linkers can sound less natural. Use simple links too, like 'also', 'so', and 'because'.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some sentences are a little long. You can make one or two shorter to make the flow even better.
task response
For task response, you answered both parts of the question and your opinion is clear from start to end.
task response
For task response, your main ideas are relevant and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, ideas move in a logical order, so the reader can follow your points easily.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • ancestry
  • genealogy
  • digital platforms
  • personal identity
  • globalization
  • genetic predispositions
  • cultural heritage
  • self-awareness
  • DNA testing
  • privacy concerns
  • disillusionment
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