IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sport, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 254 words.

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On the one hand, physical
strength
Use synonyms
 plays a very important role in many sports.
Athletes
Use synonyms
 need a good
body
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 condition, strong muscles and high energy to perform well.
For example
Linking Words
, football players, swimmers and weightlifters must have physical power to compete with others. If a person is not physically fit, it can be difficult for them to win competitions or continue playing for a long time.
Therefore
Linking Words
, training the
body
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 is a big part of becoming a successful athlete.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, mental
strength
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 is
also
Linking Words
 important because sports are not only about the
body
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.
Athletes
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 often face pressure, stress and difficult situations during competitions. A strong mind can help them stay calm and make better decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, a player who is losing a game but still believes in themselves may have a better chance to make a comeback. Without mental
strength
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, even a physically strong athlete might give up easily. In my opinion, physical and mental
strength
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 should work together. A successful athlete needs a strong
body
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 to perform, but they
also
Linking Words
 need a strong mind to handle pressure. I think mental
strength
Use synonyms
 is slightly more important because it helps
athletes
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 keep going when things become difficult.
However
Linking Words
, physical ability cannot be ignored because it is the foundation of many sports. In conclusion, both physical and mental
strength
Use synonyms
 are important for success in sport. The best
athletes
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 are usually those who develop both areas at the same time.

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task response
Write a fuller answer. The task says discuss both sides and give your view. You did this, but your ideas are a little short.
task response
Add more clear detail for each main point. This will make your answer stronger and more complete.
task response
Use more specific examples, not only general ones. For example, name a sport and explain how mind or body helps in that sport.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is easy to follow because each paragraph has one main idea. Keep this clear plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words with more range. You used 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' well, but you can also use 'for this reason', 'as a result', or 'in addition'.
coherence and cohesion
Some ideas can be linked more deeply. After one point, explain how it leads to the next point.
task response
You answered all parts of the task and gave your own opinion clearly.
task response
Your main ideas are clear and stay on topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear paragraph plan: one side, the other side, your view, and a short end.
coherence and cohesion
The essay flows well and is easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical conditioning
  • athleticism
  • physical training
  • muscle strength
  • mental resilience
  • psychological preparedness
  • mental toughness
  • confidence
  • precision
  • focus
  • mental strategies
  • mental fortitude
  • brute strength
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