Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Most individuals lack knowledge about
money
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these days, so introducing it as
a
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an
show examples
obligatory class will help them to be head of finance effectively.
This
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essay agrees with
this
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statement because it is important not only to earn
money
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but
also
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to save it.
Firstly
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,
This
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will benefit students by understanding concepts
such
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as inflation, how the stock market works, and how to categorize their earnings.
Secondly
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, by gaining financial education they can overcome any abysmal situation or catastrophic loss and manage their finance successfully in the future.
For example
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, in Manchester, a survey conducted in 2021 revealed that most citizens had become pessimistic
due to
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their lack of knowledge about balancing family expenses and financial management, which led to increased debt and financial instability in many households.
Conversely
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, teachers can introduce financial and self-improvement books to students, which help them to improve their
money
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management skills and interpersonal abilities.
Consequently
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, they can become virtuoso in organizing their earnings, savings and debts.
For instance
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, The Psychology of
Money
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, written by an American author Morgan Housel, provides timeless lessons on wealth,greed and the importance of mindful earning and saving. Understanding these concepts can help individuals to face any hazardous situation effectively.
To sum up
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, every school should include a financial subject so that folk can excel in skills and apply them in the future .
In addition
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, it will help them to earn, manage and save
money
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from an early stage in their careers.
Therefore
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, they can pass it on to future generations.

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Task Achievement
Consider refining your thesis statement to make it clearer and more direct about your stance on financial education being mandatory. Introduce clear counter-arguments or alternative views in the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transitional phrases more consistently between ideas to improve the flow of your argument. For instance, linking thoughts with phrases like 'on the other hand' or 'furthermore' can enhance cohesion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be careful with punctuation and space usage, such as between 'wealth, greed' and the word following it. Proofreading for such small errors can improve the clarity of your writing.
Task Achievement
You provide relevant examples and context, such as the survey in Manchester, which helps personalize the argument and demonstrate a practical application of financial education.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your ideas are generally well-organized, providing a logical progression of thoughts despite some areas needing more clarity and transitions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Financial literacy
  • Mandatory
  • Budgeting
  • Economic stability
  • Fiscal health
  • Credit
  • Interest rates
  • Investments
  • Curriculum
  • Informed decisions
  • Personal debt
  • Savings
  • Taxes
  • Expenditures
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Money management
  • Financial planning
  • Economic education
  • Financial competence
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