The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people assume that the working week should be shorter and
workers
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should have a longer weekend. I fully agree with
this
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view because people could be more productive during weekdays, and they can spend more
time
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with family and friends during
weekend
Correct article usage
the weekend
show examples
. First of all, shorter working hours might make
workers
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more productive. Normally, people pay more attention to tasks with tight deadlines.
Therefore
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,
time
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pressure can encourage them to focus and complete their work on
time
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.
This
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can be seen in accounting departments, where employees usually have to close the accounts before the end of the year. Because the deadline is fixed, they need to organise their work carefully and avoid wasting
time
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.
Secondly
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, a longer weekend could give us more
time
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to stay with family and friends. By company with
relevants
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relevant
, it might improve
workers
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' mental well-being.
For example
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,
friend
Correct article usage
a friend
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of mine once broke down because of overworking. Her company decided to give her dayoff to recover.
As a result
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, by having
conversation
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conversations
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with her
therpist
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therapist
and friends like us, her stress
released
Verb problem
was released
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. Eventually, she find the passion back and
return
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returned
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to work
immediatly
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immediately
after her
dayoff
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day off
. In conclusion, I agree with the view that we should reduce our working days because it not only makes the company
works
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work
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more
efficient
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efficiently
but
also
Linking Words
brings better work-life balance to
workers
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.

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task response
For task response, answer the question in a more full way. You agree, but you can add one more clear reason or explain your two reasons more deeply.
task response
For task response, make your ideas clearer. Some parts are hard to understand, so the main point loses force.
task response
For task response, use examples with clear detail. Your example about your friend is relevant, but some grammar problems make it less strong.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear basic structure: intro, body, body, conclusion. This is good.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, link some ideas more smoothly. A few sentences do not connect well, especially in the second body paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, develop each main point with one clear explanation and one clear example. This will make your writing easier to follow.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and keep the same opinion to the end.
task response
You use two main ideas that are relevant to the topic: better work and more family time.
coherence and cohesion
You have an introduction and a conclusion, so the essay feels complete.
coherence and cohesion
You use simple linking words like first of all, secondly, therefore, and as a result.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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