Many children today suffer from being overweight. This is a serious health issue. Give the reasons for child obesity and give solutions to fix it.

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Many
children
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struggle
from
Change preposition
with
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obesity
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nowadays.
The
Correct determiner usage
Obesity
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obesity
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has greatly changed the
kids life
Check wording
kids' lives
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. It is
the
Correct article usage
an
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unlikely thing.
This
Linking Words
essay
Wii
Use the right word
Will
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explain the reasons for
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children
Check wording
children's
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obesity
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and the solution to fix it . On the one hand,
obesity
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has many reasons.
First,
Linking Words
over eating
Correct your spelling
overeating
is the main reason for
obesity
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.
For example
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, eating
much
Correct determiner usage
a lot of
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sugar and fast food leads to
obesity
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.
Moreover
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, the uncounted calories
meals
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in meals
show examples
.
Second,
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less exercise can
be
Correct word order
also be
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also
Linking Words
the reason for
obesity
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.
Furthermore
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, less walking leads to
obesity
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.
Third,
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watching
screen
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time
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increase
Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
show examples
obesity
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.
Finally
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, family genetics could be a reason.
Also
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,
children
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with a family history of
obesity
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are more likely to become overweight.
In addition
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, family genetics can play a role in the
kids
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kids'
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lives.
On the other hand
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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obesity
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has wonderful solutions. First of all, the
children
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could
strat
Correct your spelling
start
a diet.
For example
Linking Words
, they eat healthy food and drink lots of water.
Moreover
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, they can calculate the calories for any meal.
In addition
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,
children
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can go to the gym.
Also
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, they can start doing exercise every day.
Moreover
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, they can finish their
walk
Replace the word
walking
steps regularly.
Finally
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, they should reduce
screen
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time
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.
Also
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, limited
screen
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time
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can improve
good
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
sleep
.
Check wording
quality.
show examples
Moreover
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, when they reduce
screen
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
time
Punctuation problem
time,
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they become healthier. In conclusion, it is easy to see
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the
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obesity effect
Correct word order
effect of obesity
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on the
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children
Check wording
children's
show examples
lives.
However
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, it
also
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
a useful solution.

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task response
Answer both parts more fully. You give reasons and fixes, but some points are very short.
task response
Use one clear main idea in each part, then add a short example or result.
task response
Make your ideas more clear. Some lines are hard to understand because of wrong word choice.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas in a smooth way. Now you use many simple linkers, but the flow is not always natural.
coherence and cohesion
Put similar ideas together. For example, food, exercise, and screen time can each have one clear sentence with support.
coherence and cohesion
Check sentence order and grammar so the reader can follow your meaning more easily.
task response
You answered both parts of the question.
task response
You gave several reasons, such as food, little exercise, screen time, and family history.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
You used linkers like first, second, finally, and in conclusion.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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