IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The pie charts below show the data regarding the time people spend on smartphones and tablets, divided by category.

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The pie charts show how
many
Correct determiner usage
much
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 people spend on
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and
tablets
Use synonyms
. The charts are measured in percentage.
Overall
Linking Words
, games occupy the first place both in
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 and
Tablets
Use synonyms
. The former
-
Verb problem
is
show examples
 35
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the latter
57
Verb problem
is 57
show examples
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Smartphone users spend the shortest
time
Use synonyms
 on news
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 only 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In terms of
Tablets
Use synonyms
 utilities remain at the lowest point
with
Punctuation problem
, with
show examples
 again 3
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Surprisingly, in
Smarthphones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
this
Linking Words
 chart occupies 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Moving to a more detailed analysis, it can be seen that 29
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
Smartphones
Check wording
smartphone
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 goes to social networking,
while
Linking Words
 in
Tablets
Use synonyms
 it
remain
Correct subject-verb agreement
remains
show examples
 only 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, music and videos have 13
Use synonyms
percent in Tablet
Change preposition
per cent of tablet
show examples
 users,
while
Linking Words
 those who prefer
Smartphones
Use synonyms
 spend 8
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 on
it
Fix the agreement mistake
them
show examples
. Similar to
Smartphones
Use synonyms
, news remain nearly the lowest position with 4
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in
Tablets
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,
time
Use synonyms
 for other
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 in both
gatgets
Correct your spelling
gadgets
 is
nerly
Correct your spelling
nearly
 6
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, smartphones, tablets, percent with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "remain" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Digital devices
  • Proportion
  • Communication
  • Entertainment
  • Work-related tasks
  • Productivity
  • Miscellaneous activities
  • Time distribution
  • Prevalence
  • Dedicate
  • Allocate
  • Examine
  • Observation
  • Impact
  • Time management
  • Edit documents
  • Professional communication
  • Personal finance management
  • Streaming services
  • Social media platforms
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