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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart shows information about the favorite subiects of students from two middle schools, school A and school B.Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features,and make comparisons where relevant.

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The bar chart illustrates information about the favourite
subjects
Use synonyms
 of
students
Use synonyms
 from two middle schools,
school
Use synonyms
 A and
B
Use synonyms
,
Including
Fix capitalization
including
show examples
 Social
Use synonyms
science
Fix capitalization
Science
show examples
,
Science
Use synonyms
,
language
Fix capitalization
Language
show examples
,
Craft
Use synonyms
/Drawing.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 sports
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the
hightest
Correct your spelling
highest
 percentage
above all
Linking Words
 by 36%.
Overall
Linking Words
, except
Use synonyms
sport
Change preposition
for sport
show examples
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
is
Correct pronoun usage
, which is
show examples
 popular with other
subjects
Use synonyms
,
which is
Change preposition
such as
show examples
 social
science
Use synonyms
, language and
Craft
Use synonyms
/Drawing.
School
Use synonyms
 A sports are the most overwhelmed class in their
school
Use synonyms
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 36%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 launguage and
Craft
Use synonyms
 drawing are the least popular classes by 5% and 4%. Social
Science
Use synonyms
 and
Science
Use synonyms
subjects
Use synonyms
 are higher than that
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
 not
high
Rephrase
as high
show examples
 as
Use synonyms
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
 subject. If you add all 4 of them
except
Punctuation problem
, except
show examples
Use synonyms
sport
Correct article usage
the sport
show examples
class
Punctuation problem
class,
show examples
 it is only 24%. On the other side,
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
at school
show examples
B
Use synonyms
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
 percentage of
students
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 evenly
than
Verb problem
distributed than
show examples
Use synonyms
school
Change preposition
at school
show examples
 A. The most popular subject in
school
Use synonyms
 A is
Craft
Use synonyms
/Drawing
about
Punctuation problem
, about
show examples
 25%.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
Scinece
Correct your spelling
Science
 is the least popular subject in
School
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
. Interestingly,
Use synonyms
sport
Check wording
sports
show examples
 class is not famous as
school
Use synonyms
 A
differently
Punctuation problem
, differently
show examples
, which is only 5%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
school
Use synonyms
B
Use synonyms
students
Use synonyms
 are distributed evenly in 3
subjects
Use synonyms
than
Correct word choice
, whereas
show examples
school
Use synonyms
 A about 25%,18% and 10%.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words subjects, students, school, b, science, craft, sport with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • bar chart
  • favorite subjects
  • popularity
  • comparison
  • significant differences
  • similar levels of interest
  • subject preference
  • curriculum
  • facilities
  • impact
  • trend
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