IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

“More and more people are choosing to read e-books rather than paper books. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, some proponents believe that electronic
books
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 are more convenient than traditional paper
books
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,
while
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 opponents have a diverse view that printed
books
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 are more comfortable to
use
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it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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. I believe that the advantages of digital
books
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 far outweigh those of paper
books
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. On the one hand, numerous individuals tend to
use
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 electronic devices
due to
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 accessibility, cost savings, and portability.
In other words
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, many people
use
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 public transportation or commute long distances for their work or education, and they can download a wide range of information through the internet that definitely contributes to the development of literacy in society.
Additionally
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, it can be said that e-
books
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 can prevent deforestation
due to
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 the cutting down of trees to produce traditional
ones
Correct pronoun usage
books
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.
Thus
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, electronic
books
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 have a positive impact
as eco-friendly
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apply
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on the environment.
On the other hand
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, the reliance on technology has a detrimental effect on individuals' health. To illustrate, teenagers
use
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 digital devices for long periods,
such
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 as iPads, smartphones, and laptops, for academic studies, that will cause eye strain, headaches, and neck fatigue
due to
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 prolonged screen time.
Hence
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, many users prefer to read e-
books
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 rather than printed
books
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 because of their affordability, sustainability, and
eco-friendly
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eco-friendliness
. In conclusion, by
analyzing
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analysing
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 the above -mentioned points.
it
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It
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 can be reiterated that electronic devices are more accessible to everyone and everywhere for
using
Replace the word
use
 by the public
which
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, which
show examples
 makes the merits overshadow the demerits for the community. From my perspective, I reiterate my view that with the advancement of technology, e-
books
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 will be chosen by individuals worldwide.

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task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why e-books are good and why the good points are stronger than the bad points.
coherence and cohesion
Use one clear main idea in each body paragraph and explain it fully.
task response
Add one more specific example to support your health point.
coherence and cohesion
Check linking words. Some are good, but a few ideas do not connect smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in the conclusion. Make it short and direct.
task response
You give a clear opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You include relevant ideas like cost, travel, and health.
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