Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

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Nowadays, we can note that many groups excessively use

smartphones

Use synonyms

every day.

This

Linking Words

happened because

smartphones

Use synonyms

engage

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show examples

different online plays. I think it's a negative repercussion to

children

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, since it diminishes productivity and leads to problems with health. Today, a number of people spend hours on their

smartphones

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, even

children

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. We live in a technological time, where

phones

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play a significant role. That's why there are a

big

Correct word choice

large

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number of online games, which

children

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play with others, which do not require physical contact in real life.

Furthermore

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, game developers create the most interesting plots of games, which boost interest in the game. Its clear example is among

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apply

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gta

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GTA

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roblox

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Roblox

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, which

childs

Fix the agreement mistake

children

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play long.

This

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is a negative trend because

children

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excessively use

smartphones

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every day without relaxing. Previously ,

children

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start

Wrong verb form

started

show examples

using

phones

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from ten , but now

children

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spend time on

smartphones

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from childhood. After excessive time on

phones

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, people can't do duties

such

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as homework and extra courses, because they lack productivity and

overall

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well-being.

As a result

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this

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factor represents academic success In conclusion, we live in an era

Punctuation problem

apply

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where

phones

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widely

Verb problem

are widely

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use applications

such

Linking Words

as online games, but

this

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factor contributes to diminishing productivity, which decreases

successes

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success

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in education.

elinakurbanova2008

Jun 19, 2026

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task response

Answer both questions more fully. You explain why children use phones, but your view on why this is bad needs more detail.

coherence and cohesion

Give clearer main ideas in each body paragraph. One paragraph can be about reasons, and one can be about why it is negative.

task response

Use examples that fit the topic well. Game names are not strong examples unless you explain how they keep children on phones for many hours.

coherence and cohesion

Link ideas more clearly with simple words like first, also, because, so, and as a result.

task response

Support your points with one or two clear results, such as less study time, less sleep, or eye problems.

task response

You answer the topic and give a clear opinion that it is negative.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

Some ideas connect well, especially about games, low study time, and health problems.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

206 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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