Multicultural societies in which there are a mixture of ethnic people bring more benefits than drawbacks to a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
Diversity is
blessing
Correct article usage
a blessing
show examples
for anything and everything. In respect of different cultural
Use synonyms
society
Fix the agreement mistake
societies
show examples
, it is
wonderful
Correct article usage
a wonderful
show examples
phenomena
Fix the agreement mistake
phenomenon
show examples
that
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humanity can have. I
am in
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally agree with the notion that
multicultural
Correct article usage
a multicultural
show examples
society
Use synonyms
brings more benefits. I will try to
ennunciate
Correct your spelling
enunciate
my point of view in the upcoming paragraphs.
Firstly
Linking Words
, every culture
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
its own language and every language
carry
Correct subject-verb agreement
carries
show examples
a great history, legacy and
knowledge
Use synonyms
. When
people
Use synonyms
form
Use the right word
from
show examples
different
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
exchange their
ideas
Punctuation problem
ideas,
show examples
it create beautiful blend of
knowledge
Use synonyms
. As
knowledge
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
no limits
the
Punctuation problem
, the
show examples
more you add
it
Change preposition
to it
show examples
still little. So , diversity in
society
Use synonyms
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
and wisdom. It is really
wonderfully
Replace the word
wonderful
when I can get access to European literature and Chinese food here in canada even when I was never
been
Wrong verb form
apply
show examples
at those places.
That is
Linking Words
the power of multicultural societies.
Also
Linking Words
, it is beneficial from
business
Correct article usage
a business
show examples
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
too. The reason behind
is
Correct pronoun usage
this is
show examples
that everyone wants to know the unknown
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
this
Linking Words
curiosity can turn into profitability with
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
market strategy.
For instance
Linking Words
, I know some Indian
organi
Correct your spelling
organic
face pack
recipe
Fix the agreement mistake
recipes
show examples
. I can
made
Wrong verb form
make
show examples
them at home
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
they work better than expensive cream
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
lots of
people
Use synonyms
in Canada
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
know about
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
face packs. I can launch
Linking Words
this
Fix the agreement mistake
these
show examples
packs in
market
Correct article usage
the market
show examples
and can get good revenue.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if
people
Use synonyms
of a country are more humble and understandable for other cultural
Use synonyms
people
Punctuation problem
people,
show examples
it
also
Linking Words
boost tourism of that nation. To
recapitualte
Correct your spelling
recapitulate
,
multicultural
Correct article usage
a multicultural
show examples
society
Use synonyms
helps not only
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
on nation level. It not only
expand
Correct subject-verb agreement
expands
show examples
knowledge
Use synonyms
but
also
Linking Words
incorporating humblness
Wrong verb form
incorporates humbleness
show examples
and more understanding.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Make your main answer more clear in the first paragraph. Say if you fully agree, partly agree, or disagree, in a direct way.
task response
Add one more clear idea about why mixed cultures help a country, and explain it step by step.
task response
Use examples with more detail. Show how the example helps the country, not only one person.
coherence and cohesion
Keep one main idea in each body paragraph. This will make your essay easier to follow.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words well, like First, Also, For example, and In short.
coherence and cohesion
Check that each sentence connects clearly to the one before it. Some parts jump too fast from one idea to another.
task response
You answer the question and clearly say you agree that mixed cultures bring more benefits.
task response
You include examples about food, books, business, and tourism. This helps support your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear start, body, and end, so the reader can follow your plan.
coherence and cohesion
You use paragraphing, which helps separate your main ideas.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • culture
  • people
  • country
  • benefit
  • drawback
  • mix
  • work
  • job
  • skill
  • money
  • grow
  • trade
  • business
  • idea
  • food
  • music
  • art
  • language
  • education
  • law
  • policy
  • tolerance
  • discrimination
  • integration
  • cooperation
  • change
  • peace
  • safe
What to do next:
Look at other essays: