It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →

It is better to go out for a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

(a show or concert) than stay at home watching

Use synonyms

or using the

computer

Use synonyms

. To what extent do you agree or disagree? In today’s rapidly evolving world, some argue that going out for a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

(a show or concert) is much better than watching

Use synonyms

or using the

computer

Use synonyms

. I firmly agree with

this

Linking Words

view, mainly because

this

Linking Words

activity

Use synonyms

brings a great deal of happiness and positive energy into

life

Use synonyms

. One primary advantage of going out for a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

is that

this

Linking Words

leisure

activity

Use synonyms

allows

people

Use synonyms

to share memorable moments and socialise with others

while

Linking Words

enjoying listening to music and

Correct article usage

the artist

show examples

artist

Check wording

artist's

show examples

performance

Use synonyms

, resulting in an enhanced

overall

Linking Words

show experience.

Moreover

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

events contribute significantly to promoting social cohesion, as they encourage

people

Use synonyms

from diverse cultural backgrounds and generations to spend time together, thereby reinforcing community ties.

For instance

Linking Words

, concerts enable

people

Use synonyms

to spend quality time with their friends and family

which

Punctuation problem

, which

show examples

helps them build meaningful relationships

while

Linking Words

strengthening their communication skills, resulting in improved ties and

doubled

Correct article usage

a doubled

show examples

overall

Linking Words

concert experience.

This

Linking Words

can ultimately contribute to developing vital skills and promoting social stability.

However

Linking Words

, using the

computer

Use synonyms

and watching

Use synonyms

can encourage

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

Use synonyms

life style

Correct your spelling

lifestyle

which leaves

people

Use synonyms

with limited opportunities to participate in engaging

activities

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as going to the gym, socialising with

people

Use synonyms

and exploring nature. These

activities

Use synonyms

have a positive impact on

people

Use synonyms

’s lives, helping them unwind, recharge their energy and continue

life

Use synonyms

with

positive

Correct article usage

a positive

show examples

mindset.

As a result

Linking Words

, using the

computer

Use synonyms

and watching

Use synonyms

can pose a detrimental threat that can lead to a reduction in the quality of

life

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, individuals who frequently use their computers often face serious health problems

such

Linking Words

as obesity and stress, because

this

Linking Words

activity

Use synonyms

limits physical

activity

Use synonyms

and leaves users with less energy for other important recreational

activities

Use synonyms

Linking Words

such

Punctuation problem

, such

show examples

as exploring nature

that

Correct pronoun usage

, which

show examples

makes

people

Use synonyms

feel relaxed and energetic.

Hence

Linking Words

, these

activities

Use synonyms

can bring about detrimental consequences and deprive

people

Use synonyms

of other essential

activities

Use synonyms

To sum up

Linking Words

, from my perspective, going out for a

live

Use synonyms

performance

Use synonyms

can play a vital role in

people

Use synonyms

’s social and personal development, as

this

Linking Words

activity

Use synonyms

enables individuals to spend quality time with friends and others

while

Linking Words

reinforcing their relationships with others.

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

activity

Use synonyms

can act as a catalyst for promoting social cohesion.

m.hadavi20

Jun 20, 2026

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

For task response, your answer is clear, but you should explain more why live shows are better, not only why TV and computer use are bad.

task response

Add one more direct idea about live performance, such as real sound, strong feeling, or special group energy.

task response

Your examples are relevant, but they are quite general. Use one short and clear real-life style example.

coherence and cohesion

For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear start, body, and end, which is good.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences are too long and repeat the same idea. Shorter sentences will make your meaning easier to follow.

coherence and cohesion

Some linking words are used well, but a few ideas feel repeated. Try to move each paragraph with one main point only.

task response

You clearly state your opinion in the introduction and keep it through the essay.

task response

Your essay answers the question and stays on the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is well organized with introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.

coherence and cohesion

You use linking words like 'Moreover', 'However', 'For instance', and 'As a result' to connect ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
8
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

390 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

immersive experience
foster
sense of community
social interaction
unique atmosphere
energy of the crowd
local economies
supporting artists
cultural events
personal growth
stimulate creativity
motivation
enjoyment
replicated
connections
shared interests

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Some people belive that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The issue of future careers has sparked considerable debate in recent times. While some people argue that the best way to succeed is to have further education at a university or college, others maintain that getting a job right after school is a better choice. In my opinion, I totally agree with the former point of view. This essay will explore both sides of this argument before reaching a conclusion.
6
band
Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this digital era, a variety of technologies that allow people to access networking sites leads to an easier lifestyle. So some individuals argued that watching television brought children many drawbacks and some did not. This writer is of the opinion that there are many advantages for children who watch television and will explain.
7
band
In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?
In many countries, people believe that owning a home is an essential part of life, rather than renting an apartment. This essay will discuss the positive effects of owning property and explore the reasons why this trend is becoming more common.
6
band
Some people think that using social media is an important part of modern life. Others think that it is a waste of time. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
"Social media has transformed the way people interact in recent years. While some argue that it is essential in modern life, others believe it is a waste of time. This essay will discuss both perspectives before explaining why I support the first viewpoint."
6.5
band
In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?
Folks these days show less interest in going to art galleries and are not willing to get information about artistic knowledge. In my opinion, this is a negative trend and in the following paragraphs, I will discuss the solutions to this.

It is better to go out for a live performance (a show or concert) than stay at home watching TV or using the computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some people belive that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children, while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Some people think that using social media is an important part of modern life. Others think that it is a waste of time. discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In some countries, the number of people visiting art galleries is reducing. What do you think the reasons for this are? How can we solve this problem?