The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with this development? What are the possible solutions?

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It is true that the way people find and share
information
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has been transformed by the Internet.
This
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can cause different problems, which
calls
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call
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for possible solutions to be adopted. There are many problems resulting from
information
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being shared online. One obvious issue is that
this
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trend can give rise to certain cyber dangers for users.
This
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is because sharing too much personal
information
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on social
media
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platforms
such
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as Facebook and Twitter can increase the risk of being hacked and harassed.
This
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can result in stress, anxiety and other complicated consequences, and
therefore
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lead to a decline in the victims’ quality of life. Another potential problem is that there are many unverified online sources of health
information
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which contain misleading or wrong knowledge.
This
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can be exemplified by the case of the anti-vaccine movement, which causes several parents to decide not to vaccinate their children. Various measures,
nevertheless
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, can be adopted to tackle the situation. The first possible solution is that Internet users should take timely measures to protect their accounts.
For example
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, social
media
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users need to set strong passwords for social
media
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accounts and avoid sharing private
information
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, which can reinforce the security of their accounts and
thus
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lower the chance of their private
information
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being stolen. The second approach is that the government and social
media
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companies should join forces to take some
actions
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action
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to reduce cyber threats. By way of illustration, they can start by introducing heavy punishments
on
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for
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hackers and Internet fraud or banning websites that are dangerous
for
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to
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people. In conclusion,
although
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the fact that data is being shared largely and at a faster pace than before produces some negative impacts, steps can be taken to address the issue.

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task response
For task response, your answer covers both the problems and the solutions, so this is good. To get a higher score, you can add one more main problem or explain one idea a bit more deeply.
task response
For task response, your ideas are clear, but some parts stay a little general. Try to make your points more exact and direct.
task response
For task response, your examples are relevant, like the anti-vaccine case. For a higher band, add one more strong and specific example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear order: introduction, problems, solutions, and conclusion. This makes it easy to follow.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your linking words are good, but some are used in a formal set way. Try to vary them a little and make the flow more natural.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each body paragraph has a main idea, but some sentences could connect more smoothly to the next one.
task response
You answer all parts of the question.
task response
Your ideas are mostly clear and relevant.
coherence and cohesion
You use a clear paragraph plan.
coherence and cohesion
You have both an introduction and a conclusion.
Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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