The animal species are becoming extinct due to human activities on land and in sea. What are the reasons for this? What solutions could be used to tackle the situation?

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Human activities on land and in the ocean are indeed pushing large numbers of animals to the verge of extinction.
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phenomenon can be attributed to several factors, which may require possible solutions to be adopted. There are certain reasons why these extinctions are occurring. One possible explanation is that farmers are turning forests into agricultural land, and loggers are harvesting timber for commercial purposes.
As a result
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, deforestation and a loss of habitats may gradually occur, which in turn results in animals struggling to survive. Another reason worth mentioning is that waste from industrial zones can be released directly into nearby seas, which can pollute the marine environment.
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can lead to mass fish deaths
,
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apply
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and
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therefore
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, therefore
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, make large sea predators die from a lack of food sources.
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, several measures can be put forward to tackle the situation. Perhaps a good idea to start with is that the authorities should reinforce existing laws and impose stricter punishments to deter the conversion of forests to farmland and illegal logging.
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can prevent habitat destruction, thereby helping to conserve endangered animal species. The second approach is that companies must install waste treatment systems in order to treat their wastewater before discharging it into nearby water sources.
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, the impacts of industrial waste on various marine creatures can be minimised, which can help decrease their risk of extinction. In conclusion, many reasons can be given to explain why several animal species are being driven to the brink of extinction, and several steps can be taken by public bodies to address the issue.

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task response
For task response, you answer both parts of the question well, but you can add one more clear example to make your ideas stronger.
task response
For task response, some ideas are good but a little general. Try to explain one result in more detail.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow, but some linkers like 'therefore' and 'nevertheless' are used a bit too often. Use a mix of simple linking words.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you can make one or two topic sentences more direct, so the main idea of each body paragraph is even clearer.
task response
For task response, you fully answer the causes and solutions question.
task response
For task response, your ideas stay on topic and are clear.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, each paragraph has one main idea and good order.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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